Death Before Dishonor

Photo by Andres Rueda

Today is the 594th day of my adoption wait.

Truly, our hope during times of difficulty will be in direct proportion to our view of God. If we believe God is enough, we will be hopeful. If we believe God is incapable, we will be anxious.

We must recognize that there is something worse than experiencing trials and difficulties, and that is experiencing trials and difficulties without hoping in God. There is also the danger of living life relatively pain-free and believing life lived without God is, therefore, not a problem.

A life that warrants daily trust in God—via difficulty and disappointment—is a gift.

In a sermon published in 1913, C.H. Spurgeon said,

Believe that the deepest afflictions are neighbors always to the highest joys, and that the greatest possible privileges lie close by the darkest trials. If the bitterer your sorrow, the louder your song at the last, there is a reason for that, and that reason faith may discover and experience live upon.

Let us hope in God in magnanimous ways this week.

October's End

Photo by llsimon53

It's that time of year ...

... when an average of 36 million American kids take part in what could possibly be called the largest-scaled masquerade in the nation.

And though everyone receives the unspoken "invitation" to the Halloween festivities every year, not everyone participates.

Some families feel strongly that they can't participate in a holiday whose origins, at least in some countries, are connected to pagan beliefs, traditions, and characters. For those who choose not to dress up in costume and go door-to-door looking for hand-outs, the Harvest Party has become their substitute. And there are other groups yet whose convictions lead them to abstain from any celebrating on or near October 31st.

Finally, let's not forget the group who separates the current-day Halloween from its less-than-desirable Celtic background, and views it as a day to dress up as practically anything and visit houses to collect their sweet loot.

This year, many of the different groups are united on one front. And that is the confusion connected to Halloween's falling on a Sunday. The New York Times ran an interesting article here about the public's reaction.

Whether you choose to celebrate Halloween, participate in Harvest parties, or simply leave it to others to do the celebrating, have a blessed and safe weekend.

What You Won't Learn in a Bookstore

Photo by umjanedoan

Last week I sent a personal note to a woman I met at work.

Without thinking much of it, I asked this woman a few questions about herself. Then, following our conversation, I dropped her some lines of encouragement.

When I saw her again tonight, this almost-stranger skipped the typical pleasantries to go straight to thanking me for my note. She was really touched that I listened and remembered the details of what we had talked about in passing.

Is it corny to say I was so touched that she was so touched?

More importantly, I was reminded about how valuable it is to listen and to reach outside of ourselves. In the moment, I wasn't consciously thinking about trying to Win Friends and Influence People. And--though Dale Carnegie would have been proud--what a blessing I received from this small exchange.

Have you perused the self-help section at your local bookstore lately? This is not the message doctors, gurus, and others interested in, well, self, are selling. But I was reminded again today that it is possible to ultimately receive the greatest joy in forgetting ourselves and focusing on others.

Perhaps herein lies our One Minute Manager, that we eschew those 50 Self-Help Classics in exchange for [Winning] Friends and [Influencing] People through an Organizing from the Inside Out and not participating in Man's Search for Meaning and his eternal quest for Feeling Good.

Happy October 27th!

Photo belongs to Adrianna

It's your go-to holiday girl here checking in to see if you celebrated
today!

Come on, you can't tell me you forgot. I know I didn't. In fact, I started celebrating last night. First, I hung streamers in the bedroom and kitchen doorways topped with some shimmery banners. Then I packaged six items in bags that held very different items over five years ago.

Today, I started off the celebration earlier than I had planned. My 5-year-old triplets simply couldn't rest past 6:30 a.m. on this, the anniversary of the day of their birth. (I told you it was a day to celebrate!)

I could probably share with you an amazingly detailed account of that special day, despite the many years that have passed and the memories that have filled my photo albums. But not right now. Sometime, though. Today I want to tell you how we spent the rest of the day. And maybe somewhere in there is a tip or two.

After my kids almost literally dragged me out of bed, I finished the birthday cake. You might wonder how I handle the girl-boy-girl dynamic of my trio, especially with regards to the cake choice. This year all three wanted a different cake. Last year, the girls made one choice and my son made another. That worked out splendidly since we planned two different celebrations. And what did I do to compensate this year? I simply added another celebration!

Sophie chose a princess cake, so we celebrated with my family this weekend with a Princess Belle cake. Bella's Care Bear cake will be the centerpiece for a celebration with my husband's side of the family this weekend. So, Sebastian's choice was the cake for today.

Once he and I carefully placed the hockey goals and players, his hockey-themed cake was done. Later we spent an action-packed two hours at Chuck E Cheese, a birthday hot spot, spending our tokens on basketball shoot-outs, whack-a-mole, and skeeball. If you're anything like me, then you can guess what I did to help curb the cost of this trip. We ate lunch at home and used some coupons we printed online.

Remember those 6 items I bagged? Those were the gifts we had carefully selected for our triplets. And I bagged them in a few gift bags I had set aside from my baby shower some five years ago. We keep a pretty strict budget, so we don't tend to spend a lot of money throughout the year on our wants. So, come birthday time, our kids are really thankful for their gifts. We heard words today like, "This is the best present I ever got." And that was gratifying.

To top it all off, we then ventured to Sonic and the kids enjoyed wacky packs, Sonic's version of the Happy Meal. We, the parents, might have enjoyed them just as much as we didn't pay a dime for any of it. We had simply signed up for Sonic's birthday program, printed off the coupon we received via e-mail, and presented them at the window.

Here are two of the greatest tips I can give you today. One has to do with the cost of birthdays and the other with something that can't even begin to be quantified.

First, if you're like us and your child's birthday is the one day you actually work at spoiling him or her (because for the 364 other days we're teaching our kids that they're not the center of the universe), look for ways to do it frugally. Look up restaurants in your area and see if they have a birthday program. We're part of the programs at Coldstone, Culver's, BD's Mongolian BBQ, Sonic, Baskin Robbins, and Famous Dave's. And I'm sure there are others. Last year, we took our kids out for birthday dinner and dessert all "on the house."

The other tip I can offer is this--simply savor the moment. Take mental pictures. Take the real ones, too. Invest in your kids. The return on your investment, both here on earth and eternally, is in the words of that Master Card commercial, priceless.

While my kids entertained visitors tonight, much like they did in the NICU on October 27, 2005, my Isabella sat coloring some pictures. When all of our friends left and we were getting ready for bed, she pulled 2 pictures out of her little box. She handed them to me and said, "Here, mom. These cards are for you to say thanks for giving us the best birthday ever."

Hockey figurines, $4; Trip to Chuck E Cheese, $15; A day that lives in my kids' memories as the "best birthday ever," priceless.

A Little Bisque of Love

Photo by ralph and jenny

I'm not going to lie. Today is a day for soup.

It's nasty outside. AND the weather man nearly bet his car we were all going to lose our house in a cyclone. I think fall is officially here, friends. No turning back now. And to celebrate (that it is fall and that we did not lose our house--and that we gained the weather man's car if he pays up), I think we should have soup.

Here is one of my favorite (wicked fast) recipes for Tomato Bisque.

What you need:

1 can (10-3/4 oz.) condensed tomato soup
1 soup can water
3 oz. Cream Cheese, cubed

What you need to do:

HEAT soup on top of stove as directed on label with water.
WHISK in cream cheese until completely melted. Sprinkle with black pepper, if desired.

How you should serve:

Serve with basil to taste.
Serve with a whole-grain roll, crackers, or sandwich.

10 minutes tops. I'm all about quick and easy. That's what I call a perfect end to a treacherous day.

Seems Like Only Yesterday

Photo taken by Trisha

It's one of the best things I ever did. I encourage you to do the same.

Today would have been my grandpa's 87th birthday. Truthfully, I cannot fathom what it would be like to live for 80+ years. I'm already tired, and I'm not half his age.

Unfortunately--for those of us he left behind--Grandpa died in January of this year. So it's the first birthday without him, and I must say, I was surprised by the impact of his absense. I expected to be sad, of course, but I didn't expect to want so badly to hear his voice.

Perhaps like some of your family members, my grandpa loved to tell the stories of his life. He really did have an incredible set to share. He grew up in the back woods of upstate New York without electricity. He considered bologna to be the greatest treat known to man. During his lifetime, he would start several churches and grow a faith strong enough to sustain him through the loss of a young wife and little boy.

His life sounded like fiction, but he had the character and the eyes of a man who had lived it all.

So when I was in college, I decided to ask Grandpa if, in lieu of a traditional Christmas gift, he would put some of his favorite memories on an audio tape. I supplied him with one sixty-minute tape and told him that he didn’t need to feel like he was supposed to fill it. But that anything he put on it would be special to me.

Well, he didn’t fill it. Instead, he filled 12 90-minute tapes, front and back, with the lessons of his life. Those 18 hours are time I can spend with my grandpa whenever I want to. Hearing him talk about the decisions that shaped him always prompts me to make decisions that I won't be afraid to record for my family.

Christmas is coming. Need a gift? I encourage you to do the same with those you love. Record their voices. Listen to their stories. And on days when you don't have your loved one nearby, you'll still have the ability to hear their voices. And it'll feel--at least for a moment--like old times.

The Gift of Sufficiency

Photo by Breibeest

We must believe that God is capable of doing profound and incredible things!

When we stop believing that God is able to do for us what we need Him to do, we will stop seeing His hand in the details of our lives. We will pat ourselves on the back for things of which we have no business taking credit. And we will miss the blessing that exists in our dependence on our Heavenly Father.

Hope is believing that God is able to do more than we could ever imagine.

A verse of comfort we have returned to many times while waiting to hear about our adoption is 2 Corinthians 9:8 which says, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work” (ESV).

Maybe this will be the week for us. Maybe not. No matter how the week is wrapped, it will be a gift.

Advertisement by fluevog.com

I love advertisements.

I know. It's crazy, but what can I say? I am inspired by the creativity of other people. Let me clarify, though, that I love print advertisements. As in, the photo above. In the line of work I am in, I see them a lot, and they always prompt me to think about random, creative things. I get a lot of my ideas for my home from print advertisements.

Anyway. Exhibit #1 is above. I found it in a magazine this morning and enjoyed looking at it.

Next, I wanted to tell you about a wedding that completely caught my attention on my way to work. Perhaps it is indicative of the temperature of our marriages in this age--what think ye?

TAIPEI (Reuters Life!) - Chen Wei-yih has posed for a set of photos in a flowing white dress, enlisted a wedding planner and rented a banquet hall for a marriage celebration with 30 friends.

But there is no groom. Chen will marry herself.

Uninspired by the men she's met but facing social pressure to get married, the 30-year-old Taipei office worker will hold the reception next month in honor of just one person.

"Age thirty is a prime period for me. My work and experience are in good shape, but I haven't found a partner, so what can I do?" Chen said.

Finish the story here and feel free to leave a comment if you have an opinion--about marriage OR advertisements. I'm all ears.

Happy weekend!

This takes Little House on the Prairie to a whole new level.

Photo by aaron13251

Try Little House IN the Prairie or Under the Prairie.

I've been thinking lately about sustainable living and doing things around the house to contribute to the overall health of the home. Truly, my dream would be to move to the middle of nowhere--think Walden's Pond--but I'm not handy with sewing quilts or fending off bear attacks. So maybe later.

Several of my friends have been talking about chilly mornings and the refusal to turn on the heat. Well, Ladies, here's an alternative to traditional insulation.

Makes Christmas decorations easy. Just put lights up on the roof.

Sweets for the Sweet

Photo by Monica Arellano-Ongpin

Did you know that Saturday was a holiday?

Perhaps calling Sweetest Day a holiday is a stretch. It's more of an observance. And given the fact that the Great Lakes area of the United States is the only part of the population really acknowledging the day, even calling Sweetest Day an observance is probably something akin to calling our pug, Charlie, the king of the jungle.

Nevertheless, the day is set aside as an opportunity to celebrate love.

Although I tend to consider this a contrived, somewhat commercialized holiday, I found myself joining the ranks of saps this year. But by proxy. Only by proxy. My sweet's birthday happened to be this weekend. So, we found a sitter for the kids and spent some quiet moments together perusing the shelves at an old bookstore. This place acquires used books from several places, their primary source being old libraries. I found a couple of books I had read as a preteen and half expected to open their covers and find my name scrawled on the inside.

The jackpot of my finds was a book of old letters, varied in scope and whose authors range from George Washington to Percy B. Shelley. I love this book. And in honor of Sweetest Day, I thought I'd post a few excerpts that might bring out the sweet in you.

From the poet John Keats to Fanny Brawne, the literal "girl next door":

"I have no limit now to my love. I have been astonished that men could die martyrs of religion. I have shuddered at it. I shudder no more. I could be martyrd [sic] for my religion--love is my religion--I could die for you. My creed is love and you are its only tenet. You have ravish'd me away by a power I cannot resist. ... My love is selfish. I cannot breathe without you ... Yours for ever."

Ludwig Van Beethoven to his "Immortal Beloved":

"My angel, my all, my very self--only a few words today and at that with pencil--not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitively determined upon--what a useless waste of time. Why this deep sorrow where necessity speaks--can our love endure except through sacrifices--except through not demanding everything--you can change it that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine. Look out into the beauties of nature and comfort yourself with that which must be--love demands everything and that very justly--thus it is with me so far as you are concerned, and you with me."

Pierre Curie to Marie Sklodovska:

"Nothing could have given me greater pleasure than to get news of you. The prospect of remaining two months without hearing about you had been extremely disagreeable to me: that is to say, your little note was more than welcome."

Yours, very agreeably,

Of Worlds and Coffee Shrines

Image from The New York Times; Photo by Elaine Louie

Books are worlds waiting to be discovered, right?

Except that books can take up as much space in our home as planets. Recently, I've been trying to think of creative ways to arrange/organize/manage the collection of books that constantly threatens to take over my home. Between my husband and me, we could fill a small library.

And no doubt, we should.

And then I discovered this coffee shop and I want to implement this idea in my living room:

"When Eugene Kagansky, the owner of D’Espresso on the Lower East Side, decided to open another coffee bar a block away from the New York Public Library at Bryant Park, he told his designer, 'Let’s do a coffee bar that looks like a library, but would be more interesting.'

So Anurag Nema, the founder of nemaworkshop, a Manhattan design firm, did something interesting: he flipped the coffee shop on its side."

Read the rest of the story here.

The only thing I take issue with is this: What could be more interesting than a library?!

Pearls of Wisdom

Photo by Theresa Thompson

When Barbara Billingsley died on Saturday, so did an ideal.

I've always called my sister-in-law "June." Her name is not "June," of course, but my children will likely be in their teens before they figure that out.

See, the first few times I stopped for a visit after my brother and sister-in-law got married, "June" was vacuuming in a dress, wearing heels and pearls. "June" seemed like the obvious nickname--named for the all-American wife who kindly encouraged her husband and carefully guided her sons while dusting and mopping in Sunday duds.

I was quite impressed by June Cleaver and my June. I can barely balance in heels when walking--let alone pushing a Dirt Devil.

I am sad about Barbara Billingsley's death. She was television's original TV mom--a woman who openly demonstrated to a generation of Baby Boomers that it's okay to care for your family and your home. You don't have to think of your husband as a big, fat goon or wish your kids belonged to somebody else. In fact, you shouldn't.

What's so wrong about aspiring to be someone who loves her family?

In a perfect "last scene" to Billingsley's life, her own children--two sons, as irony would have it--praised her for being not unlike June Cleaver in real life. She loved her family. She loved her home.

Known for saying, “Ward, I’m a little worried about the Beaver,” I would say to her today, "June, I'm a little worried about the moms you leave behind."

And tomorrow--just because--I think I'll wear pearls.

19 Months and Counting

Photo by kirstyhall

That question has hit me right between the eyes more than once recently.

I need a clean bill of health. I need financial provision. I need the understanding support of my friends and family. I need the adoption to be finalized after 19 months of waiting.

But then, all at once, it always hits me after I start thinking about various needs: all I really need is God.

Trust in God is not a feeling or a mood or an emotion. Trust in Him is the confidence that my Heavenly Father is sufficient. Sans the clean bill of health. Sans the financial provision. Sans the understanding support of anyone.
Sans the adoption.

God is good. Period.

Just a Thought

Photo by Valerie's Genealogy Photos

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Having lost two babies, I can appreciate a day to remember:

How quietly he
tiptoed into our world.
Softly, only a moment
he stayed,
but what an imprint
his footprints have left
upon our hearts.

Think Pink!

Photo by Whitney(;

Many of you probably know that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

As women, we need to educate ourselves about this topic. Breast cancer is a subject close to my own heart as my maternal grandmother passed away from this disease, and 2 of her sisters have been diagnosed with breast cancer during their lifetimes. As a result of my family's history and my own medical history, I have begun the process of getting screened at least every other year for breast cancer.

CNN ran an article today that was very informative. In case you missed it, I've outlined the highlights in bold. In italics is some information from yours truly:

1. If you have a strong family history of breast cancer, get an MRI. This recommendation comes from the American Cancer Society. The ACS also recommends getting a digital mammogram when possible. For those whose insurance won't pay for these services, you can appeal the decision citing the recommendation of a doctor and/or the ACS.

2. Get a copy of your mammogram report. A letter stating your mammogram is normal can be wrong. An important fact to note in the report is a notation about the density of your breasts. See number three.

3. If you have dense breasts, consider having an ultrasound or MRI. Getting both a mammogram and an MRI can be more effective than getting a mammogram alone. If your insurance company won't pay, appeal the decision.

4. Look for your BI-RADS score. Here's your biology lesson for the day. Your BI-RADS score is a number on a scale of one to five indicating how likely you are to have breast cancer based on your mammogram. A score of one indicates no cancer and five indicates that the mammogram is "highly suspicious" for cancer. This score can help determine your next step in fighting against this often deadly disease.

5. Talk to your radiologist. According to the article, a woman never meets the person who reads her mammograms. But who's to say you can't try! I must admit, I suffer from intimidation of the medical field. I often remain quiet when I should be asking questions. This is too important an issue to remain silent about! Intimidation can thwart early detection!

The bottom line, ladies, is that we must be educated and proactive about our health. This is from the woman who has been sitting on a script for the last several weeks to go have her mammogram.

It can be easy to let life get in the way. But what happens when cancer gets "in the way" of life? I'm making my appointment as soon as possible. I hope there are women over the age of 40 or with a strong family history like my own who are going to do the same.

In the meantime, join me in praying for the approximate 207,090 women who have been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer this year, the 54,010 women diagnosed with non-invasive (early stages) breast cancer, and the families of the 39,840 women who have passed away from breast cancer in 2010. Some of these are women you have known. Some of these are women reading this right now.

Though I don't know all of you personally, I care about your well-being. Please be proactive. Please be praying.

Lightbulb Moment

Photo by Joelk75

I've got an idea!

Since today is our day to clean/organize/improve the kitchen, I thought I'd share a simple concept that has made a big impact in my thinking today:

Pillows.

That's right. Why not add pillows to your dining room chairs? Pillows really are a fast/simple way to add a burst of color or spot of energy to the room. They don't have to be big, fancy, or expensive. And who says they must be limited to the rest of the house? Consider adding seasonal pillows or pillows that highlight a subtle color used elsewhere in the room.

Pillows will warm up the space and make it more inviting--just in time for the cooler weather outdoors.

Really, pillows are pretty much magical.

Double-take

Photo by qmnonic

Transparency.

Over the weekend, I was traveling with my husband, and somehow we ended up in an upscale neighborhood with incredible homes. A bunch of contenders for Architectural Digest, the houses elicited our appreciation as we drove slowly through the neighborhood to get to where we were going.

And there was one common (surprising) trait amongst them.

None of them had curtains in their front windows. No joke. It was like driving through a well-groomed collection of life-sized doll houses. Due to the darkness outside and the lights glowing inside, I saw straight into the living rooms of a dozen perfect houses. And I realized with clarity:

This is what it means to be transparent.

It was intriguing.

Additionally, it gave me pause as I considered this question: What does my living room look like to guests who see it for the first time? How does my home appear in the eyes of someone who is driving past? It is always good to see something in a new way, isn't it?

Consider this: The picture at the top of this blog is actually of a dog house.

Today I am rejuvinated to see my home in a fresh way.

If you have lived, take thankfully the past. (John Dryden)

Photo by Dano

Today commemorates two important events in world history.

First, it's the anniversary of Columbus' 1492 discovery. Both of the Americas (with the exception of Canada) and Spain observe Columbus Day. Second, Canada is celebrating its Thanksgiving holiday.

Here are a few little known facts related to both:

1. American author Mark Twin based the time traveler's trick in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court on Columbus' successful prediction of a lunar eclipse during his fourth voyage to the New World.

2. Columbus turned his four journeys to the New World into an entrepreneurial quest. He requested that he be made "Great Admiral of the Ocean," be appointed governor of any and all lands he discovered, and be given one-tenth of all revenue from those lands.

3. Canada first started observing Thanksgiving as a yearly holiday in 1879. The theme of the Thanksgiving holiday changed each year to reflect an important event to be thankful for.

4. While the actual Thanksgiving holiday is on a Monday, Canadians might eat their Thanksgiving meal on any day of the three-day weekend, though Sunday and Monday are the most common.

5. Canadian Thanksgiving customs actually evolved after American refugees from the American Revolution settled in Canada and brought some of their American Thanksgiving traditions into their new homes.

We would love to hear from our Canadian readers about how they celebrated their Thanksgiving holiday. Leave us a comment about your traditions and how you enjoyed them this year!

This Is Perfect Peace

Photo by dcJohn

Written for a friend. Written from my heart.

God most high, I call for mercies new. I am weary with distress.
Having born the weight of sorrowing, I am broken--I confess.

In the furnace of affliction, And the wilderness lain bare--
You have never left me wandering--I have always found you there.

Savior, grant that I would honor You. Choose the painful path if best--
Draw me closer to Your holiness--In Your shadow, let me rest.

Mold me wholly to Your likeness, Melt the dross and purge the fray--
Shape and fashion, fortify my steps, In my weakness, lead the way.

Heavenly Father, I have found in You--Mercies new and strength to stand--
Lead me where Your healing waters flow, Guide me with Your precious hand.

Since Your power knows no limits. And Your mercies never cease--
Proffer grace to rest inside the storm--Knowing this is perfect peace.

You May Be Counting Candles

Photo by Aih

My birthday is 10/10/10 this year.

In case we don't survive--given the apocalyptic likeness of a date with three identical numbers--we celebrated it tonight. Here are 10 things I enjoyed:

1. My favorite restaurant, followed by cake and homemade goodie bags (We're never too old for goodie bags!)
2. 13.3 of my closest friends and family
3. A bonfire (not in the restaurant, thankfully)
4. Handmade crayon-coated cards from sweet little people
5. Lovely jewelry and perfect dishes
6. A list--from my mom--of 30 reasons she loves me (Only a mom could love 30 things about me!)
7. Lots of laughter
8. The gift of a journal [collective sigh: I love a friend who feeds my addiction]
9. A cool card that played cats singing happy birthday: impressive
10. ...the way my mind wandered off to next year's birthday and the promise of an additional family member

Forgive me that tonight's post isn't helpful. Though I'm home, I'm far, far away.

When Loves Collide

Photo by refeia

I found a gift I'd like to give my son.

I know. I'm a journal fanatic. But what better way to journal?


Buy a Journible here

From the website:

The Journible series of books are hard-backed with gold foil and a bookmark ribbon. As you open the book, you will see chapter and verse numbers on the right-hand pages. These are conveniently spaced according to the length of each verse. However, these pre-formatted lines are left blank for you to hand-write your Journible book of yourself.

The idea for this comes from Deuteronomy 17:18, where God commands the kings of Israel to hand-write their own copy of the Torah, or book of the law. The purpose of this was so that they would carry it with them always, read it, learn from it, and lead the people accordingly. It’s interesting to note that 3400 years later, educators have been discovering that most people learn kinesthetically, by doing or writing things out for themselves.

From these two ideas together then, comes the conception of this series of books: The 17:18 Series. As you look at the left-hand pages, the lines are left blank for personal notes and comments on the text. There are also some questions scattered in light print throughout these pages. These questions are meant to guide you in thought as you study the book of Proverbs and to help you understand the types of questions you should be asking of the text.

Maybe I could fill it out now and give it to him later.

A journal and a Bible ... what could be better than that?

On Love and Family

Photo courtesy of TLC

"Love should be multiplied, not divided."

I am more convinced than ever that the family unit--as it was meant to be--is what people actually want while they try to want something else. Let me explain.

The show "Sister Wives" just premiered on TLC. The newest reality show from the "reality network," it follows Kody Brown and his three wives and their combined 12 children in their "everyday polygamist household." Truly, it is stranger than fiction.

I decided to watch an episode so that I could write this blog having seen it for myself. Believing polygamy to be a gross violation of the institute of marriage, I expected to come away disgusted, revolted, or angry. Instead of feeling repulsed by this wanna-be family, however, I came away from the half-hour show feeling sad. My opinions of polygamy have not changed. Make no mistake.

But my sympathy for these women--particularly--who believe they are doing right, grew immeasurably.

Here were my initial thoughts:

1. Sister Wives does not portray a normal household. As much as they remind you throughout the episode that they are normal, they are not normal. If they were normal, they wouldn't need to keep talking about it.

2. Sister Wives does not want its children to make choices for themselves. Repeatedly, the sisters spoke of "wanting their children to know they have a choice" when it comes to the type of marriage they eventually choose. Yet, they model and magnify only one choice. Every time they speak of one-man-and-one-woman unions, you half expect them to spit.

3. Sister Wives claims that freedom of religion should allow them to continue their lifestyle. Yet "worship" does not free us to live whatever (illegal) lifestyle we choose. What is the object of worship that makes this family religious? It isn't the practice of prayer or study. It's a group of adults living together and calling it religion. If polygamy is a type of worship (i.e. religion) then who is the God at the center of it all? It looks a lot like a Kody Brown.

4. Sister Wives claims to be confident in the choices they have made. Yet, I've never seen so much crying, doubting, self-loathing in any 30 minutes of anything I've experienced. And that's saying a lot. (Keep in mind, I was in junior high once.)

5. Sister Wives claims to be "okay" because they are consenting adults. The problem is, there are a dozen children in the middle of it all who must observe the circus of four parents and half-siblings and dangerous interpretations of the point and practice of marriage.

The serial husband, Kody Brown, said in this particular episode, "I just fell in love, and then I feel in love again, and I fell in love again."

Perhaps he is right. But methinks he fell in love with himself.

You Learn Something New

Photo by KDavidClark

Today is a day that honors a profession that has had an impact on all of us.

And it will continue to leave its mark on every branch and leaf of our family trees. No wonder the world puts it on the calendar. It's World Teachers Day.

I'm a woman who is married to a teacher, has hugged--and kissed--a teacher today, and furthermore, has obtained a degree in the field of education, so I have lots of thoughts on the subject. But as a keeper of my home, my children, and their minds, I find myself settling on a singular thought about World Teachers Day. And it doesn't include placing a red and shiny, edible object on the desk of Miss Witmer or Mr. Nelson. (Whew, I can still remember some of their names!)

As the mediator of many debates, the wiper of a few noses, the administrator of the welfare of the little people in my home, I can gravitate toward being a lump during my few moments of quiet or alone time. There is little difference between me and a scoop of lard.

But I have to tell you, I want more than that.

I demand more of myself than that. Just because I'm out of school, just because I'm at home caring for things and people who take little notice of whether I remember the names of all the presidents or can still solve an equation for the unknown, doesn't mean I can't still be growing. If for nothing else than for the fact that my kids think I already know everything. Why not live up to their expectations? I dare me!

I may not be a teacher by profession, receiving monetary gain from my labors, but I'm a teacher and an example to my kids. Soon they'll be taking off on their own learning adventures, and I want to join in on the ride. And sometimes, I just might want to be in the driver's seat.

So, on this World Teachers Day, I'm rededicating myself to the pursuit of knowledge.

I'm committing to learning about one subject each month. I'll check books out from the library, hunker down, and learn a little something new. Join me! You've got nothing to lose. And, hey, in the meantime, think a thankful thought about your kindergarten teacher today, without whom you wouldn't even be reading this post!

Celebrating the Promise

Order the cookbook here.

Tonight I brought a friend home from work.

Being an editor has its perks. Today, I was sent home with a bright pink limited edition Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook to review for a current project. That's right. 656 pages of Paula Deen, et. al goodness. Right there on the third page Paula listed her personal chicken pot pie recipe and I wondered if I should be paying my employer for the chance to do my job.

Right now, this cookbook is a dear, dear friend.

Anyway. It didn't take me long to flip through the pages of this book to arrive at this sobering statistic: Nearly 200,000 women in the United States are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. Standard screening tests are the best way for women to detect when it's most treatable.
Two things instantly came to mind:

1. It's easier to catch than correct. Early prevention--if possible--is the key. Vigilance is paramount.
2. Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a battle--John Watson.

I have never seen so many helpful kitchen and health-related hints interwoven with delicious recipes in all my life. I encourage you to check out this tome of genius ASAP.

Adoption Wait: (Almost) 19 Months

Photo by viviannedraper

Waiting is a reality of life.

Like Moses in Exodus 33, we pray for God to show us His glory—in whatever life experiences we are called to face—and then we wait for Him to exalt Himself with whatever outcome He has ordained.

But waiting is more than a casual passing of the time—a youthful surveillance of the clock in anticipation of the next desirable thing—waiting, in the most Biblical sense, is active.

Waiting, though it requires us to stand still and fix our gaze upon God, also requires us to hope, to meditate, to believe, to pray, to endure, to rest ... to do the things that God has commanded us to do, all the while expecting His glory to be evidenced in His response to our requests.

And so this week, we will care for our homes and our families. We will love the Lord with all our hearts and love our neighbors as ourselves. And we will wait for the desires of our hearts to be met.

This--in the truest sense--is waiting.