The Problem with "Happy"

TITLE: Satori in Paris, by Irene Suchocki--"Satori" refers to a flash of sudden awareness.

In the short time that I have been a mom, I have read a few books/magazines/Web pages in which mothers explain what they most want for their children. The consensus is generally the same.

Moms want their kids to be happy.

You can see it in the commercials. You can watch it at the soccer games. You can hear it in the stores.

At first glance, I've found many of these mothers to be noble in their mission. That they would be accepting of their children regardless of whether they became Harvard grads or starving artists is impressive. It's certainly a world away from parents of previous generations who determined that their children would be lawyers or doctors or disowned.

But after careful thought, it is my persuasion that "happiness" is as incorrect a destination on the map of life as "rich" or "successful" or "impressive." Happiness, while it doesn't have the same undergrad prequisites that accompany a law degree, comes with its own set of challenges.

What if what makes me happy today doesn't make me happy tomorrow? What if what makes me happy isn't moral or Biblical? What if I can't figure out what makes me happy? What if what makes me happy hurts other people?

"Happy" sounds good, but "happy" is as reliable a roadmap as a broken compass in a raging sea.

Do I want my child to be happy? Sure I do. That I--at this fleeting stage in my son's life--can make his day with a balloon or a trip to the park is refreshing. I'm certainly not captain of the anti-happies. But more than happiness, I want my son to be content.

Here is the verse we are learning right now.

"But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content" (I Timothy 6:8 ESV).

If I can influence my son to choose contentment over happiness, I have given him a greater gift than any elaborate birthday party or shiny new toy or expensive college degree. Contentment means that he will accept with open arms whatever God brings into his life--whether he's a Harvard grad or a starving artist. It means--even as his tastes change or his mood fluctuates or his circumstances shift--he can find peace in the promises of God.

And if, as a by-product of that obedience, my son will be happy, it will be to me a bonus.

1 Hundred Photos. 1 Million Memories.

Speaking of photos, this one, entitled Trolley cars on Powell, by Raceytay is perfect. Love. 

And here is what I am going to work on tonight ...

Right now, Snapfish is offering 100 prints for about $6 (including shipping).

Since bringing Andrew home, I have been diligent about printing photos. On the backs, I write the name of each person in the photo, the place, the date, and a memory.

Time consuming? Somewhat. Purposeful memory making? Absolutely.

Here you go:

1. Upload 100 4x6 prints.
2. Redeem the coupon code: PRINTSFREE at checkout.
3. Watch your mailbox earnestly for sign of life.



Join me?

SPARK #13: (Autumn) List for Life

How appropriate. The free journal I ordered last week arrived today, on the day we celebrate journaling. I love how life works! (most of the time)

So this morning someone showed me her list entitled, "Autumn Wishes" in which she listed 47 items she wanted to experience during the fall. And so I took the challenge myself. In light of the recent announcement that cursive is on its way out, I wrote this post by hand.

SPARK #13: What would you include on YOUR autumn to-do list?

Feel free to LINK UP if you discuss today's SPARK on your blog.

A Life in Pictures: City Bumpkin

My son loves balloons. As in, loooooves ballons. When we arrived in the United States after 25 hours on an airplane, he was as happy as a bird with a French fry because someone was waiting in the lobby with balloons.

This past weekend, we took him to the park AND we gave him balloons. Could life BE any better?

Our annual pumpkin carving event was a success. This year we honored our beloved Detroit Tigers (who ended up going down in flames). Oh well. There's always next year.

 

And that's my life ... in pictures.

Cursive: R.I.P.

If you can read this lovely hand-stamped greeting card, by subtleacts, thank a teacher. (Isn't it cute?!)

As someone who primarily writes in cursive, this saddens me.

Goodbye, old friend.

Are We THERE Yet?

I would like to be sitting on this bench, featured in A New York Minute by Raceytay. Lovely!

I am a bit like a child at Christmas when I look at the calendar and think of everything that is going on ...

1. HouseHoncho.com is getting ready to undergo a major (fun!) change. I can't wait for you to see what it is! This afternoon I caught a glimpse of what the final version will look like and almost starting jumping on the couch. Stay tuned ...

2. FREEBIES galore are being given away via the House Honcho Facebook group. So far, I have been able to keep up with a-FREEBIE-a-day and am getting all sorts of ideas about future giveaways. (Speaking of which, I received my free canvas in the mail today and am super excited about it. If you haven't taken advantage of this offer, you really should consider it! Totally worth it, in my opinion.)

3. November is shaping up to be the best month in House Honcho history. I have been talking to home managers all over the Internet, brainstorming holiday traditions and decorations, meals and crafts. I am ridiculously excited about the plethora of projects I am going to introduce. Two weeks and counting, Friends ...

4. For those of you who loved the free journal offered in the Facebook group, you will be pleased to know that I just posted a similar offer--this time for a free photo book!

5. And just because we are having so much fun, here are 20 free 4x6 Kodak prints.

Have I mentioned I am excited?

Daring to Trust

Field of Poppies, by Raceytay. As far as the eye can see ...

Admittedly, my heart is heavy today.

This morning I learned that the city where my son lived prior to his adoption is six feet under water. There is flooding throughout the country. In the 2 weeks that my husband and I spent in Thailand, we fell in love with the people and places, sites and sounds. We had mixed emotions about leaving the country behind to return home.

This morning in Sunday School, I taught a great group of teenage girls the importance of trusting as opposed to worrying. And now the test of my sincerity falls into  my own lap. (Isn't that usually how it works?)

Problem: Sometimes worry is the easy and indulgent choice.

Response: The correct solution to worry is always trust in God.

Our trust in God cannot be linked to getting what we want when we want it. It must be linked to the wisdom of God and wanting what He wants in His time. He knows infinitely better than we do what is best for our lives.

And so, by choice, I trust.

Cook Without a Book

Check out this fantastic Pumpkin Playdough by MyLittleOtter. What will they think of next?

How could it be? I have written over 30 Favorite Things blog entries, and yet I have never mentioned this Web site ...

Perhaps I did a looooong time ago and now it is buried deep in House Honcho's history. If so, it's time to mention it again.

If you are not familiar with the Kraft Foods Web site, it is time you take a look. With recipes even I can make plus a "Use What's On Hand" section, this Web site is responsible for a lot of edible goodness around my house.

If Kraft would just send their cooks to my house, all would be perfect ...

SPARK #12: Journal Giveaway (Could There BE Anything Better?)

I have a weakness in my heart for Buttons, by AmandaRaeK. Aren't they wonderful?!

I used to be religious about writing down goals on New Year's Eve. But see, here's the thing. Chalk it up to being a writer, a woman, a whatever-might-apply ... I find New Year's Eve to be very depressing.

I don't know if it's due to the end of another year, the insane repetition of Auld Lang Syne, or the reality that another diet is just around the corner, but I think I would survive if New Year's Eve never happened.

This is what my yearly goal-writing scenario used to look like:

Each New Year's Eve, I would sit down and list my goals for the coming year. And, inevitably, on January 2nd or 3rd (when I'd pull out the list again) I would see a bunch of failures or personal impossibilities, mixed with tear stains in the margin and heavy underlining.

No more New Year's Eve goal writing for me.

On my birthday each year (which is significantly less depressing, perhaps because cake is involved) I choose 5 things to work on. (So those who know me are thinking, "ONLY 5?! Give me a call!") Right?

My birthday was this past week. So I am thinking about goals.

And really, why not think about goals throughout the year. Much less intimidating than year-end exams.

SPARK #12: What do you want to achieve this year? What do you want to achieve within the next 5 years? What do you want to achieve with your life?

Visit the HouseHoncho Facebook page today to claim your coupon for a FREE journal from Paper Coterie!

A Life in Pictures: Apple of My Eye

'Tis the season for sweatshirts, pumpkin bread, and fiery leaves.

Over the weekend, my family celebrated fall at the apple orchard. I am working to establish traditions for each of the seasons. (Why limit traditions to 2 months out of the year?!) This idea is definitely a keeper.

The Sweetest Contribution in the World

I love this little cutting board in spalted maple, by grayworksdesign. This is fall personified.

Several topics hovered in the radar for tonight's In Print discussion. There's the woman who gave birth after running a marathon, for instance, and the question on Today about whether or not single women can be happy. (Really?! So many answers, so little time.)

But then I found something that instantly and definitely stole my attention.

I stumbled on an article from 2008 with the following title:

Perfection? Hint: It’s Warm and Has a Secret

In short, The New York Times took a look at one of the sweetest contributions in the world: the chocolate chip cookie.

And in their quest to discover the perfect recipe, they came up with this:

Jacques Torres' Secret Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe
Makes twenty-six 5-inch cookies or 8 1/2 dozen 1 1/4-inch cookies

Ingredients
1 pound unsalted butter
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
2 1/4 cups packed light-brown sugar
4 large eggs
3 cups plus 2 tablespoons pastry flour
3 cups bread flour
1 tablespoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
2 pounds bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

Directions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick baking mats; set aside.
- In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugars.
- Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition.
- Reduce speed to low and add both flours, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, and chocolate; mix until well combined.
- Using a 4-ounce scoop for larger cookies or a 1-ounce scoop for smaller cookies, scoop cookie dough onto prepared baking sheets, about 2 inches apart.
- Bake until lightly browned, but still soft, about 20 minutes for larger cookies and about 15 minutes for smaller cookies.
- Cool slightly on baking sheets before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.


Now, off to the kitchen ...

Announcements and Gifts and Holidays: Oh My!

I am thinking these Bike Fox Hand Warmers, by warmYourself would be perfect for my son.

Today is my birthday. I only say that because I can't tell if I'm more excited about that or what I'm about to share. Either way, I am very happy ...

1. I have spent several months trying to decide the best use for the Facebook group. While it remains a great place to show support of the blog (my heartiest thanks to those who have "liked" House Honcho) I also want it to be a useful tool. Hopefully in time, it will provide a broader forum for conversation and brainstorming. In the meantime, I am excited to announce Deal of the Day. Let me explain ...

The Internet is full of Web sites dedicated to coupons and freebies. House Honcho readers send me their discoveries all the time. Over the past few days, I have experimented with posting 1 deal each day--generally the "best" deal of the day, in my opinion. I prefer to post FREEBIES, but sometimes other deals are just too good not to share.

Moving forward, Deal of the Day will be one of the benefits of joining the Facebook group. I will endeavor to post 1 deal a day that is relevant to your life and mine.

2. Each blog entry in November will focus on a holiday project or tradition that will (hopefully) give you ideas for the Thanksgiving/Christmas season. I have scoured the Internet looking at hundreds of blogs, talking to dozens of friends, researching boatloads of concepts, and attempting myriads of projects. I am carefully selecting ideas that are attainable and profitable for the family. More news on that to come. Please stay tuned. I believe November could be this blog's best series yet ...

To all of you who enrich my life by supporting this blog, thank you. I would be sitting in the corner talking to myself otherwise ...

Meditations in Pink

Keep Farming Until Its All Gone by AmandaRaeK

Over the years, the inside of my closet door has become a sort of museum of items on which I need to meditate.

At times, the items posted there have been a rebuke. At other times, the items have served the sole purpose of encouragement. I memorized all of I Corinthians 10:13 because it was printed on neon pink paper and posted where I couldn't miss it if I tried.

(Admittedly, I've often wondered what Paul would think if he knew I printed his words on pink.)

Tonight, the item I plan to print and post (courtesy of Justin Taylor from Between Two Worlds) accomplishes both purposes--rebuke and encouragement.

Rebuke: Why don't I live this way? Encouragement: Hallelujah!

Life is short. God is good.

The Apple Pie Tree: Fighting Crime with Poetry

Nothing says, "fall" like Autumn's Alchemy by irenesuchoki. I would like to frame this on my wall ...

Tomorrow is the day my family will go to the orchard and pick apples, snap photos, and carve pumpkins. I'm just a wee bit excited. This pilgrimage has become a tradition that ranks up there next to holidays of the most appreciated kind. So I wrote a poem ...

'Twas the night before family day and all through my house,
Every creature was stirring--my son and my spouse.
The buckets were set by the front door with care,
In hopes that tomorrow our apples would go there.

My son was now nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of apple pies danced in his head.
I'm not in a 'kerchief; Luke's not in a cap,
But it sure would be nice to settle back for a nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Over to the window I flew like a flash,
Ripped up the blinds and knocked over the trash.

The moon on the breast of newly-cut grass
Gave lustre to the car to which I never give a pass.
When, what to my wandering eyes should I see,
But a group of kids teepeeing a tree.

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
And filled up the yard with a toss and a jerk.
They jumped in their car and off on their way,
It happened so fast I had nothing to say.

So back to the couch and back to the dreams.
I'm Googling pies and apples and creams.
I nearly exclaimed as they drove out of sight,
"Tomorrow is family day!" So to all a good-night!

SPARK #11: The Richest Man in the Cemetery

These Bike Hand Warmers, by warmYourself will make a perfect autumn/fall/winter/spring accessory.

Life is short. Eternity is not.

Today--in light of Steve Jobs' death yesterday--I've been reading some of the things he wrote and said through the years. Whether or not I agree with various points he made, his insights are unique.

Tonight's SPARK challenge is simple. Respond to this statement, made by Steve Jobs on May 25, 1993, for CNNMoney/Fortune:

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me."

My thoughts are many. Tonight, my words are few.

Please feel free to respond to tonight's SPARK in a post on YOUR blog and link up below!

A Life in Pictures

When people ask if my son has a nanny, I answer, "Well, yes. But she's golden, four-legged, with a cold, wet nose."

Tomorrow night our social worker comes to visit us for our first adoption post-placement visit. I can't even believe it's been two months today since I first laid eyes (in person) on my little boy!

In some ways, the time has flown. In other ways, I feel like my son has always been a part of my life. Strange how that happens, yes?

I was recently telling a friend that I am going to endeavor to take a family photo on the 5th of each month since our first family photo was snapped on August 5th. (Nothing fancy--just a photo that I can print when deals like this come along!) My friend responded that she wished I would post more photos here on House Honcho.

Good idea.

Beginning today, I am going to publish a photo each Wednesday that represents something going on in my life here at home. I will still respond to questions. Keep 'em coming! But maybe, just maybe, these photos will give you a glimpse into the craziness of my super cool family ...

Marriage and Expiration Dates

I am fairly confident that  Irene Suchocki is my favorite photographer. Seriously. Here, she photographs heart-shaped lights in the streets of Paris.

My husband sent me the following article on Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, he explained that he intended the article to be shared here on the blog. [Whew!] ...

The title of the article, published by ABC News: MEXICO CITY CONSIDERS TEMPORARY MARRIAGE LICENSES

According to Reuters, proponents of temporary marriage licenses believe that divorce--and all of the hassles and headaches that come with it--could be avoided if temporary marriage licenses were made optional. Couples could always renew the license if things are going well. But for those marriages that "aren't working out," the couple could easily and quietly walk away on expiration day.

Dear Mexico, REALLY?

See, here's the thing. Expiration dates are tacked onto objects that are expected to fail, i.e., milk, medicine, chemicals. Items that are expected to last--i.e, furniture, clothing, buildings--don't usually come with shelf lives or warranties. Why? Not because these objects are incapable of falling apart, but because we build them to last.

The problem with divorce (resulting in headaches and hassles) isn't primarily the process of divorce--it's the fact that divorce is happening at all. In my mind, the scenario goes like this:

Everyone is getting the flu. Instead of teaching people the steps to take to stay healthy, let's give everyone easier access to the illness so that getting sick is less complicated.

The problem, in my opinion, is that we are more concerned about the hassles of paperwork than we are the prevalence of divorce. Where we should be building fortresses around the institution of marriage, we are creating exit strategies.

The reality of marriage is that two imperfect human beings are choosing to live as one. That will never be an easy process as long as human beings are flawed. As soon as we slap expiration dates on marriages we make failed marriages a greater, more acceptable phenomena.

And then ... nobody wins.

According to the article, the proposed legislation will be voted on in Mexico by year's end. Let's see what happens.

Picture Perfect!

I have a doozie of an article I am itching to share, but that will need to wait until tomorrow night. First things first ...

You know those tasks that are necessary and easy, yet they land in the "headache" column? Call me crazy, but I consider printing photos to be one of those "mundane annoyances." I know it's necessary. I know that photo albums are important. But who wants to drive across town and stand in front of a printer for fifteen minutes?

I take enough pictures to fill the Grand Canyon with prints, but I dread printing photos like I dread going to the dentist.

So this is really good news ...

Now through October 5th, get 100 4x6 prints for $1, 200 for $2, or 300 for $3!

Serious savings, Friends! Click here.

Right now I am uploading my own set. I am pumped ...

The Gift of (More) Chores

A fall day, a good book, some scented leaves ...what could be better? These books from havenvintage are calling my name!

What if I woke up today with only those things I thanked God for yesterday?

This question has been riding autopilot in my mind lately. I thought about it again this morning as I dressed my son, as I prepared for church, and as I put the ingredients together for a delicious cheesy chicken bake I will have to tell you about later.

For me, it is easy to get caught up in the weariness of daily living. My to-do list oftens contains things of which I get exhausted just considering. Really? It's time to prepare ANOTHER meal? Didn't I just do that an hour ago? Are you SERIOUS? More laundry to do? Wasn't that basket empty this morning? 

But then I am often struck--moments after an internal complaint-fest takes root in my mind--that I would be a whole lot more disappointed without the objects for which I am tempted to complain.

So tonight, as I pillow my head and begin the process of thinking about tomorrow, I won't complain (not even to myself!) I will instead offer thanks to God for His incredible kindness.

"But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content."--I Timothy 6:8 (ESV)


Personal announcement: I was recently invited to join a ridiculously talented group of writers in the launch of http://www.inspireafire.com/. I'm honored (delighted, pleased, excited, thrilled) to serve as Inspire's Sunday devotional writer. If you enjoy reading novels, your favorite Christian author is likely part of this group. We cannot wait to ... well ... inspire a fire! Please check it out!