You Can Do It!

Photo by Joost J. Bakker IJmuiden

What did we say as children? You can do it . . . if you put your mind to it!

This weekend I received a very kind note from a reader who shared her struggle with staying motivated to care for her home. I have chosen not to share the content of the message because of the personal nature of the things she said. But I would like to share some tips for staying motivated.

Truly, motivation is underestimated. I, for one, tend to focus on all of the strategies for improving my processes or taming my challenges...and I miss the power of strengthening my motivation.

Here are 5 ways you might consider improving your motivation around the house:

1. Invite someone over. Nothing says, "Get with it!" like knowing company is on its way.
2. Switch up the room. You might find a new desire to clean if you're cleaning a "new" room.
3. Put on your favorite CD and challenge yourself to work hard until it's over. Work hard. Play hard.
4. Begin with the task that you least want to do. Everything will be easier once it's finished.
5. Ask a friend or family member to hold you accountable for your goals. When it comes to getting something done, guilt is golden.

It's important to understand that--when it comes to a challenging task--you're not going to love it every day. But you will love the outcome. Focus on that!

Honcho Hints: Memorial Day

Photo by Design by Zouny

Need some ideas?

This weekend, I have had an influx of requests for Memorial Day ideas. So here are some suggestions if you are still looking for something to do.

1. Attend a Memorial Day cemetery service.
2. Make/present a veteran with a card or gift of appreciation.
3. Have a war movie marathon.
4. Encourage your children to write a letter to a current soldier.
5. Hang an American flag.
6. Take time to honor family by perusing family photo albums and sharing memories.
7. Watch Taking Chance.
8. Share poems or bits of historical trivia with the family.
9. Play the board game Chronology.
10. Spend time with those you love.

Feel free to send me feedback about what you do during tomorrow's celebration! Happy Memorial Day!

Memorial Day

Photo of original In Flanders Fields by John McCrae

Thank you.

IN FLANDERS FIELDS
John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Idea Exchange #2

Photo by LOLren

Reader Robin is always happy to offer feedback.

She was kind enough to submit her responses for our Idea Exchange.

1. What is one homemaking tip you would like to share with the readers?

No one’s house is perfect. Everyone has something out of place somewhere. The key is to have the majority of your house (especially areas visitors will view) orderly and clean. It doesn’t have to look like something out of a magazine, just clean and uncluttered. Look at your house the way a visitor would when they first enter your house. What do they see? What is the focal point? What impression will they get with those first few glances? Those spots make all the difference. Make sure your entry view is warm and inviting. I also do this at the entry way of each room. When I enter, what do I see? That is the area that I need to make sure is most tidy. Also enlist the help of family. Have them walk in and give their impressions and help to keep the area neat and pretty.

I divide up the House Honcho chores between my husband, son, and myself. We are able to usually get at least 6 items on the list completed and this goes a long way in keeping the house presentable.

2. What is your favorite room of the house and why?

My favorite room would be my dining room. It is not a formal room, but is separated from the kitchen. It is bright and sunny and I like the seasonal decorations I use in this room. This is where we enjoy dinner as a family and lots of conversations happen around the table. It is probably the room in the house where I feel closest to people.

3. Is there anything you would like to ask the audience?

I would like to ask your readers how they find sufficient storage for out of season decorations? And how often do they change decorations in their rooms? I find myself changing decorations throughout my house for each season or holiday. Does everyone do this or am I just creating a lot of extra work for myself?

4. Tell us one interesting thing about yourself.

I love technology and finding ways I can use it to make my life more organized and efficient. House Honcho daily e-mail tips are an example. I also have set up reminders of tasks that happen yearly to be sent to me or the appropriate family member as a reminder. Example: clean out gutters, switch clothes for the season, call for furnace cleaning appointment, etc.

5. Share one thing you have learned as a home manager.

A home is to be lived in. It should be comfortable and welcoming. The people who live in the home are what give it character and bring it to life. Family, the people you live with are what really matter and are first priority. The tidiness of the house is second. I know many friends who freak when anything is out of place and their family is uncomfortable in their own home. Don’t let that happen to you.


Excellent ideas, Robin! Thank you!

Dear House Honcho

Photo by purplbutrfly

Dear HouseHoncho,

I have lots of questions for you. Don't feel like you need to answer all of them. First, I want to ask when you get your work done. Do you prefer mornings or evenings? Next, I want to ask how you finish your list when you've had a bad day or are bored. Finally, I want to ask if you would post a picture so I know what you look like.

Thank you. I love your website.
Carrie G. Dunn
Minnesota


Dear Carrie G. Dunn from Minnesota,

Thank you for sending in your questions! It always amazes me how many Dear House Honcho e-mails I get weekly. And I still open every one with excitement. (Just ask my poor husband who runs into the office every time I experience a sudden burst of laughter or clapping. Really. Some of the questions are really quite funny.)

There is no doubt that I prefer evenings for getting my work done. While I have more energy in the morning, I find that I am most interested in busy work during the evening. So I am more likely to be content vacuuming the floor or scrubbing the dishes when the sun is down than when I am ready for the races. When I've had a bad day or I'm bored, I listen to music or audio books while I work. Sometimes the music is loud enough to serenade the block. (It may surprise you to know that I blast classical tunes and Broadway songs loud enough to rival my teenaged neighbor's music--I'm sure he loves that.) I find that music lends energy.

Finally, I hope you will enjoy the picture I have posted above. But do know that it is, without a doubt, not me.

Keep it simple!
HouseHoncho

Bring It Inside

Photo by uloni

Summer days are here again.

Tonight, a group of my friends and I sat outside by the fire pit, playing dominoes under the moonlight. (Or more specifically--we played by the light of the OFF! candles.) And while we were inhaling the summer scent of wood smoke and bickering over high point tiles, I found myself thinking of ways I could bring the outdoors inside for the summer. After months of being stuck inside, why hold myself hostage any longer?

Here are my suggestions:

1. Add some house plants to your interior design. Plants do more than add color--they suck carbon dioxide out of the air and trade it in for oxygen--thereby improving the quality of the air you breathe.

2. Air your [clean] laundry outside. Even if you don't have a clothes line, you can air your mattress in the back yard or fluff your pillows in the sun. The same ultraviolet rays that threaten to damage your skin actually serve as useful disinfectants.

3. Open your windows to bring in the fresh air. Nothing knocks out the stuffy scent of finished winter like open windows and summer breezes.

4. Dine outside. You don't need a perfect patio to entertain friends outdoors. Set up a card table or pull up some chairs. Most everyone has a lap. (And you won't need to scrub your counters after supper.)

5. Take your decorating advice from nature. Bring in greens and yellows and reds. Use items from your yard to decorate your centerpieces. Rely on natural light as often as possible.

Enjoy the summer. It's here for the celebrating!

Feedback and Forums

Photo by peregrine blue

Tonight I'm keeping this simple.

I've been working to create a new (and improved) forum for our site, so I've been a wee bit pre-occupied. But I wanted to share this wonderful piece of feedback I received last month. In lieu of this holiday weekend, I thought it was appropriate to share.


Dear HouseHoncho,

Had some VERY unexpected company drop by my house Tuesday evening. It was the daughter of an old friend with her hubby (just back from Iraq) and little baby. They had flown from Alaska!!!! Totally unexpected. I was outside working (playing) in my yard. Of course I invited them in. It was nice that in spite of me having done no "housework" that day, they felt comfortable letting the baby crawl around on my tile floors. A tribute to the "Keep It Simple" rule, and of keeping things done while they are easy to do, not letting small tasks grow into real live monsters that intimidate me.

Some events in life help us to remember what "it" is really all about.


Feel free to submit feedback any time! It's always good to hear from you!

Keep it simple.

Idea Exchange #1

Photo by Breibeest

I met Sarah J. via an e-mail she sent me a month ago.

We discussed socks.

In addition to caring for a building full of retired home managers, (Sarah runs the local retirement center in her small town), she assumes the role of mother to five children and homemaker to one thankful husband. Below are the questions I asked and the answers she provided.

1. What is one homemaking tip you would like to share with the readers?

I was complaining to my friend recently that my children don't put things away in their bedrooms without a struggle. She encouraged me to go into their rooms and look at things from their perspectives. She suggested I put boxes and bins at their eye level instead of my own, and she asked me to evaluate the reasons behind why they don't put things away. At first I thought this was dumb advice, until I went into their rooms and saw how much things were set up for my own benefit and not theirs. I switched things up, asked my kids to help me make things easier, and the habits have really improved.

2. What is your favorite room of the house and why?

I like the kitchen. My family makes a priority of eating supper together every night, and I insist on doing it at the kitchen table. I know it's old fashioned, but it's the best way we can make sure we have conversation together. To me, the kitchen represents family.

3. Is there anything you would like to ask the audience?

So many questions come to mind! I would like to ask if anyone has ideas for taming loose leaf paper. For some reason, even though House Honcho is good about telling us to eliminate it, it still crops up in my house. It's awful. Paper breeds in my home.

4. Tell us one interesting thing about yourself.

I was an only child and now I have five kids. I never experienced sibling interactions until I was a mother. (If anyone has tips about keeping the peace, I am open to those as well.)

5. Share one thing you have learned as a home manager.

I have learned that the house can be managed if it is a priority. I work outside the home while my children are in school and pre-school, and then I work in the home when the day is over. I am tired and non-creative, but it stlil gets done. I don't go to bed until I have completed the HouseHoncho e-mail.

Thank you, Sarah J.! Thoughts? Opinions? Advice? The microphone is open...
Keep it simple!

Airing Dirty Laundry

Photo by Cyron

Growing up, Saturday mornings always meant "laundry day" at my house.

(Additionally, Saturdays were always "doughnut day" too, but the doughtnuts weren't nearly as exciting as the laundry.)

Each member of the family was required to gather his/her dirty laundry and bring it downstairs to the laundry room. Piles were created on the floor--lights, darks, whites. And when each pile had completed the entire cycle, we were required to fold and return our own clean laundry to the correct drawers. It was an efficient system that worked well.

In celebration of Saturday, here are 3 laundry tips.

1. If you need to remove gum from an item of clothing, simply stick the item in the freezer. When the gum has hardened, you should be able to peel it off relatively easily.

2. If the laundry basket smells bad, sprinkle some baking soda over the dirty clothes to help eliminate the stench.

3. If you are trying to remove grass stains, simply put some rubbing alcohol on the stain before tossing the item into the wash.

Always be careful to follow care instructions. And don't leave any clothing in the freezer!

Home Sweet House

Photo by malias

Trips are nice. Home is better.

Admittedly, I don't have much to say tonight. After 10 hours in the car, I pulled into my driveway, and nothing--NOTHING--looked as good as my house. I dragged my suitcase, (large enough to transport a body), through the front door and ker-thunked it on the living room floor before inhaling the smells of home.

Better still, my husband had dinner in the oven and toilet paper on the holder. He had the place completely under control!

I look forward to diving into the website full-force again this week. Watch for improvements. Cheer on the changes. And thank you to the many of you who sent me well wishes this week.

It's sure good to be back!

Dear House Honcho

Photo by Darwin Bell

Dear HouseHoncho,

I have 3 questions for you that I'm hoping you'll answer for me. One is, how do you get hairspray off of the bathroom door? I have daughters. Enough said. Two, I really struggle with not wanting to clean up every room every day. But I don't have time to clean up every room every day. So something has to give. I am too busy to clean every room every day, but it's hard to know where to draw the line. Finally, can you tell us an embarassing story about yourself? You are obviously very put together.

Jeanie
West Virginia


Dear Jeanie from West Virginia,

I will answer your questions in the order you asked them. First, I get hairspray off of my bathroom door using rubbing alcohol. I take a torn up T-shirt or old sock, dip it in the alcohol, and gently work the "gunk" off the door. It really is amazing--looking at the balled up goo on the door--that we put that stuff on our hair. Almost makes me want to shave my head. Almost.

Next answer. I always advise setting goals, reaching them, and stopping for the day. Now, obviously, if a vase breaks in the kitchen, it needs to be tidied--even if it's Monday and isn't the day you typically clean your kitchen. If toys have exploded all over the living room floor, they need to be put away. But if you have pressing responsibilities that don't enable you to fully clean every room the way you'd like to every day, just maintain a faithful routine and know that you will complete the tasks each week at an assigned time. Manage your home. Don't allow your home to manage you.

Finally, I have more embarassing stories than Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. If you think I have "arrived," (whatever that means), rest assured, I have not. One afternoon, I was running on a treadmill in the gym attached to our apartment. My back was to the door and I was watching Oprah explain personal safety tips. All of a sudden, I heard the door open and close behind me, and a few seconds later, a man's voice spoke--"Stop what you're doing and listen to me." I totally panicked. Thankfully, I had Oprah on the flat screen above my head telling me how to protect myself. I shut the treadmill off and turned around to face my would-be attacker.

And I saw he was talking on his cell phone.

Keep it simple!
HouseHoncho

Dear House Honcho

Photo by AnnaKika

Dear HouseHoncho,

I am the mother of 3 beautiful little daughters. I know I am blessed, but I also know that I am not a good housekeeper, and it worries me that my daughters aren't ready for what's out there. My home skills are not a strong point, and I struggle to do things that other women probably think are easy. In fact, I really don't like taking care of my home, even though I am a stay-at-home mom. My mom was not a home maker. She actually laughed at people who wanted to give up a profession to stay home. I don't know what I am asking for exactly, but I would like some encouragement.

Thank you.
R. Rankin
Mississippi


Dear R. Rankin from Mississippi,

First of all, let me applaud your interest in home management and motherhood. The fact that you have made a good choice for your family that contradicts the example you were given, is wonderful proof that we are not the product of our pasts. I am thrilled for you that you have been given the awesome responsibility of raising three lovely daughters. You have already begun to teach them, by your example, that being a mother is important.

It sounds like, from what you said, that your daughters are still young. If that is the case, you have time to teach them that home management is a priority. Depending on their ages, maybe there are things you can learn to do together. Additionally, I would encourage you to seek out a mentor--specifically someone older and wiser--who you can share honest dialogue with about the struggles you are facing in your house. Maybe this individual can help you assess where your weak points are and help you strengthen them.

You have obviously started on the right foot by loving your children and devoting yourself to things that are important. Learning to fold towels and clean the oven is secondary--and certainly something you can do if you put your mind to it.

Keep it simple!
HouseHoncho

House Honcho Wants YOU

Photo by Plat

Ever been to a cookie exchange?

Each December, a friend of mine hostesses a cookie exchange out of her home. She invites a handfull of us to bring our very best cookies--our chocolate-ginger treats, lime flowers, or pistachio-raspberry tea cakes--wrapped in parchment paper or buried in Christmas tins. And we exchange our goods like children trading sandwiches in the lunch room.

It's one of my favorite events of the season--as much because I love the company of women that meet in my friend's home--as it is the fact I can't wait to try a new treat.

Well. It isn't the season for trading cookies just yet, but I want to invite you to something I hope will be enjoyable and profitable.

I want to invite you to House Honcho's idea exchange.

Similar to our Author Friday interviews, I would like to begin interviewing homemakers around the world. I want to talk to home managers at every point of the homemaking spectrum--whether you've been doing it for 1 year or 100. If you allow me to, I'd like to send you 5 questions about your home. You can share things that work for you or things you've learned from others. It doesn't matter. You can even choose to change a question if you don't like it--and you can remain on a first-name basis if you so choose.

I am simply interested in gleaning your ideas and sharing them with our friends.

Please drop me an e-mail if you are interested! Let's get this party started!

Before You Go

Photo by fdecomite

Fact. It's easier to come home when the kitchen is clean.

Yesterday morning, my suitcase was in the car, my map and tote were secured in the front passenger seat, and I was ready to go. Except for the fact that I wanted my kitchen in tip top shape so that when I returned, I wasn't running back out the door screaming like a banchee. Here are 3 HONCHO HINTS pertaining to the kitchen that I suggest doing before you leave for a trip of any length:

1. Eliminate any food that will spoil before you return. This will save time and frustration later.
2. Empty the trash. Nothing smells worse than fermented garbage.
3. Do the dishes. You won't want to come home to a sink full of messy plates.

As a rule, it's best to ask yourself what you want to come home to. In the crazy whirlwind of packing a suitcase, it's easy to leave the house looking like it was robbed. Just ask yourself the question, "Is this what I want to see when I next walk through the door?" and it could save you frustration on your return.

Announcement: Tomorrow, here on the blog, we'll be rolling out a great new initiative that will help us in our search for dedicated home managers. Your participation is greatly welcomed and desired.

See you tomorrow!

And We Have a Winner!

Photo by Trisha (This is my attack cat, Spanky.)

Drum roll.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the contests this week! I appreciate your support of me, of this website, and of this initiative to bring home managers together! I will be attempting to respond to your comments over the next week--as well as sort through the avalanche of Dear HouseHoncho e-mail...so feel free to chime in to any discussions.

Tomorrow I begin my roadtrip across the country. [And lest you think I am irresponsible for letting people know I will be gone...I have a guard cat and am married to the Jolly Green Giant--and both will be protecting my home.]

Stay tuned for more exciting HONCHO HINTS and House Adventures!

Packing Peanuts

Photo by Smabs Sputzer

Moving at the speed of sound...

Tonight I am packing like cuh-ra-zay for my trip that begins this weekend! My intentions are always a lot better than my realities when it comes to packing for a trip. For some reason I put it off until the last minute.

Today I decided to create a list of items that I would need to pack. (I am pretty devoted to lists if you couldn't tell!) And here is what I created. I have created a blank version for you if you are interested in printing one for yourself.

Per your request, I am posting a copy of the list in case you would like to print/use it. Thanks for your feedback!

Dear HouseHoncho

Photo by Chris P.

Dear HouseHoncho,

Thank you for your helpful feedback into my home management skills. They have improved ten-fold since I began receiving your e-mails and reading your daily blog. I'll get straight to the point. My question for your Wednesday post is this: how do you determine how much you get done in a day? I know you say "3 things make a difference," but what about the days where there is more to do? Also, you obviously have a lot going on for yourself. You have a good job, you are good at home management, and you keep up a great blog and website. Is there anything you DON'T do?

Libby
Toronto


Dear Libby from Toronto,

You're welcome for the helpful feedback on your home management skills. I must say, though, that YOU are the reason your skills have improved ten-fold--I am just here to cheer you along the way! I haven't lifted one finger in your house--that has been you! (Give me an L! Give me an I! Give me a couple B's followed by a Y!)

While doing 3 things in your home will always make a difference, sometimes there is more to do. (Company's on its way--your kids have gotten a hold of your pots and pans--you're cleaning out the closet.) I determine how much I will do based on a to-do list I create at the beginning of a project. Every morning I take 15 minutes to plan my day. When I accomplish my list, I rest. But I don't rest until my list is finished.

The key to getting things done is recognizing that there will always be work to do--and determining with a realistic focus what can and should be done today--without sacrificing other, more important priorities.

Oh. And I don't play the tuba.

Keep it simple!
HouseHoncho

Mid-Year Resolution

Photo by Bernt Rostad

I hereby resolve. . .

...To use cloth napkins in my home. (My apologies to the Canadians who prefer, "serviette"--though "napkin" really is easier to say if you think about it.) For one, I don't like putting a piece of newspaper to my mouth mid-meal. Also, I believe the cloth napkin will further make a meal feel like a meal, (even if it is fish sticks or pizza).

...To wear an apron when I'm in the kitchen. There had to be a reason that all of those glorious women in the 50s wore aprons all the time. Maybe it was as much about preserving their clothes as it was enjoying their job. I'll give it a try and let you know.

...To use fresh fruits and vegetables all summer long. "Fresh" as in--from a place under a bridge or a stand on the corner that looks like the opening scene of a horror flick--not as in "I got this from the grocery 10 minutes ago." In reality, those carrots were probably picked last month.

(Or worse still, those carrots were probably made from apples.)

I am making resolutions all the time. Who says they have to be made on January 1?

Worms and Putt Putt

Photo by Miss Turner

Spring is officially here.

Yes, I know the calendar proclaims March 20th to be the first official day of spring this year. But do not be fooled. Today my flowers are planted, and there is enough dirt on my hands to comfortably house a family of worms. So today is the first official day of spring in my book.

Since today is the day we focus on family rooms, I thought it would be appropriate to call a little "family meeting."

(That was just a fancy way of saying--I'm going to make some announcements. No one's in trouble.)

1. Competition reminder. Don't forget to comment on blogs--past or present--and forum posts. Each time you do this, you will get your name added to the hat for the TARGET gift card drawing. The drawing will be done this Friday at noon.


2. Dear HouseHoncho announcement. My e-mail inbox is being flooded with comments and questions for Wednesday's Dear HouseHoncho post. THANK YOU! Keep sending away! Because several of these questions are ones I would love to hear answered by our community of readers, I am going to add a category on the forum called, "Reader Q&A" where I will post some of the questions that I'd like to hear you respond to. Feel free to drop in and contribute your two cents.

3. ANOTHER CONTEST announcement. I know. It's like contest overdrive around here. On Friday we had the opportunity to interview Kit Wilkinson on the blog. She has graciously agreed to donate one copy of her new book, SABOTAGE, to us for a drawing. So here's the deal. All you need to do is respond to this blog post and tell me one thing you've done--past or present-- to celebrate spring in your home, and your name will be entered in the book drawing which will take place on Friday at noon.

4. Stay-cation invitation. You've heard of "stay-cations," correct? The idea is that you take time off of work and--instead of taking that over-the-top cruise to the Bahamas--you stay home and play putt putt. Well, here's your opportunity to go on a vacation right from your computer desk. I am going to be traveling to a conference beginning this weekend and will be taking a break from blogging about daily home tips. I will, during my travels, be blogging my experiences traveling across the country, meeting other home managers, etc. You are welcome to follow along or ignore me altogether for the week. But it should be a fun time. And yes, your daily to-do list will still be sent.

That wraps up this week's family meeting.

Now to scrub my fingernails before tomorrow's presentation at work...

An Open Letter to My Mom

Photo by DOH4

Dear Mom,

As the person most likely to wait for my blog to be updated, (and consequently, the one to call me on the phone if it goes unpublished or contains an embarassing error), I'm certain you will find this post tonight. And I'm glad for that because there's something I need to say.

Thank you for being my mom.

I remember as a child--in a moment of red, hot anger--shouting that you weren't my mother. I was at the top of our dreadfully-carpeted basement steps, (that looked an awful lot like human hair), and I recall saying the hurtful statement louder than a jet plane. (Ironic that words are remembered long after actions are forgotten, isn't it?)

Even then, I knew better than to believe what I was saying. The fact that you had changed countless dirty diapers and cleaned up after numerous bouts of the flu aside, you are clearly my mom for so many reasons. (Need I remind you that we call each other about Scrabble scores or misprints found in the newspaper with the enthusiasm of having won a lottery?)

You are clearly my mother because you are the first to tell me the truth. Perhaps more honest with me than I would have chosen at various times in my life, you are the one who nodded when my friends shook their heads. You were the one who told me to change my outfit or "re-consider my choice of a boyfriend" (that being interpreted: What are you thinking?!) You were the one who cared more about my success than my self-esteem. (And thank goodness for that or I'd still be wearing the worst kind of bouffant bangs.)

Meanwhile, I was the one rolling my eyes so far back in my head I nearly sprained something.

You were always honest with me, and so now I'll be honest with you. I've never doubted for a moment that you loved me. I've never worried that you'd walk out on our family or dishonor my dad. If I've needed to talk to you--any time of the day or night--you've always listened. And you've instilled in me a love of my home and my family that ranks only after my love of God.

Though our opinions have sometimes clashed as loudly as cymbals in a Trans-Siberian orchestra, the truth remains.

You are my mom. And I'm very, very thankful for that.

Happy Mother's Day.

Meet Kit Wilkinson

The cover of Kit's lovely book

She makes me laugh harder than a hyena high on helium.

We met two years ago at a conference, and I'm pretty sure we weren't laughing only 10 percent of the time. (And that was when she was sleeping or networking with publishers.)

I am so glad to introduce you to Kit Wilkinson, author of two books--one of which is hitting bookstores June 8, 2010--entitled Sabotage. (I'm planning to pull a "Harry Potter release night" and be at the store at 12:01.)


Photo of Kit Wilkinson

Graciously, Kit sat down to answer some of my questions about her newest novel.

1. Emilie Gill, your lead character, is in danger because someone is targeting her. Worse still, the police have charged her with murder. Nothing could be worse, in my mind, than being falsely accused of something. How would you handle it?

It depends on the situation, but most likely I’d get pretty angry about being falsely accused. (I’ve been known to have a bad temper.) On the other hand, if it was a really ludicrous accusation, I might find some humor in it. I like to find humor in life.

2. Emilie will eventually need to learn to trust again. Do you think trust is something that can be encouraged by someone else--or must it come from a personal conviction to do so?

Great question! Sure, trust can be encouraged, but in the end it’s a personal decision. In some ways, it’s like we have to be at peace with ourselves before we can trust others. And sometimes, that’s a hard thing to find—personal peace.

3. You've actually earned a handfull of impressive degrees--including one from Switzerland--yet you chose to stay home and be a full-time mother and home manager. What prompted you to do this?

Honestly, I did it because I could. And I’m so glad that I did. For one because that’s when I started writing, but also the time at home has flown by (my youngest starts kindergarten next year), I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this time with my children.

4. What is your favorite home management tip?

I like to cook things that I can double. I’ll take half of it and freeze it for a night when I don’t feel like cooking. I also try to clean my house while I’m making phone calls. Sometimes, that doesn’t work out but most of the time I can get the trash out, a few rooms dusted, mirrors cleaned, etc. It’s almost automatic now. I get on the phone and I start cleaning.

5. What do you most want for Mother's Day?

Diamonds ☺ Very large diamonds. Or, a nice relaxing day with the family. That would be good too.

6. Any other hints you want to give us about Sabotage?

Sure! So, I’m really hoping that readers enjoy the equestrian world setting and the sparks flying between the hero and heroine, two very strong characters. And two very human characters. Oh and I have to mention that Sabotage just received 4 ½ stars from the Romantic Times Review. Very exciting.

HouseHoncho, thanks so much for having me.


No, no, Kit. Thank YOU for dropping by!

Announcing...

Photo by whatleydude

CONTEST #2

I am really excited to announce the second contest here at HouseHoncho.com. And it's one every single person can participate in to her heart's content!

Contest #2 is called, "Speak Up!" (It was either going to be that or, "Talk to me, Baby!" Be thankful I went with option #1.)

Here is how you get your name in the hat.

1. Comment on the forum. (Any post--past or present)
2. Comment on the blog. (Any post--past or present)

The goal is to share ideas, collaborate with friends you've never met, offer better ideas than the ones I've suggested. Let's make this next week about talking!

Each time you comment between now and noon on Friday, May 14, 2010, you will get an additional name in the drawing. Names will be entered in the drawing the way they are entered on the blog and forum. (So don't forget the name/nicknames you use! Feel free to use more than one!)

Prize: one lucky winner will score a $20 giftcard to TARGET.

Speak up!

Dear HouseHoncho

Photo by swatihawaldar

Dear HouseHoncho,

My name is Linda, and I have been reading your blog since the first day you posted. I have many questions for you, but will try to keep this note brief. First of all, are you married? I can't seem to remember reading anything about your husband. (Although it is fine if you are not.) Second, what is your favorite room in your house? Third, what do YOU want for Mother's Day? (I never know how to answer that question.)

Linda
Chicago, IL

Dear Linda from Chicago,

We seem to have a few things in common! For instance, I, too, have been reading my blog since the first day I posted! (In all seriousness, thank you for following the blog. It wouldn't be fun at all without readers!)

Yes, I am married! You may have seen him before. He's tall, dark, and handsome! Truly! I noticed him for the first time when he had a glass of ice tea in his hands. I've made every effort to keep his glass full ever since!

My favorite room at home would have to be our family room. We made a decision almost four years ago to nix the cable television at home. It makes our home that much more conducive for conversation and music and reading. And so, sitting in my family room, I can catch a perfect cross breeze between the open windows while chatting or reading or cleaning out my purse. And I love it.

I have always believed that Mother's Day gifts should follow a schedule--similar to anniversary gifts. My suggestions are as follows:

Year 1: a diaper bag (to replace her cute little tote)
Year 2: a baby gate (so she can actually take a shower again)
Year 3: a new lamp (to replace the one that broke)
Year 4: a toy box (with a lock)

You get the idea. The biggest gift can culminate in the 18th year--in which she should be given her child's graduation certificate.

Just my thoughts on the matter. It makes the whole gift-giving experience less of a mystery.

Thank you, Linda!
Keep it simple!

Dear HouseHoncho

Photo by Daehyun

Dear HouseHoncho,

I hope you will consider replying to my e-mail for Wednesday's "Dear HouseHoncho" feature, because I am one very frustrated homemaker right now. I love my children and my husband very much, but they do very little to nothing to help around the house. Sometimes it feels like I am working all day on cleaning up after them only to have them come home and mess it up again. I've tried systems and rewards and conversations (and sometimes yelling, I admit) and nothing seems to work out. I don't need perfection but help would be great. Please offer your advice. I really enjoy your Honcho Hints.


Stefanie H.
Michigan


Dear Stefanie H.,

Not knowing much about your family--ages and abilities included--I cannot answer with specific age-appropriate strategies or creative suggestions for "forcing your family to lift a hand." (Maybe you can solicit some of those in the forum.) Short of carrying around a whip--which I highly recommend you avoid--there is not much you can do to "make your family want to help." I recommend the time-honored tradition of giving your children a list of responsibilities with a clearly-communicated set of privileges attached.

Straightforward is the system: get your responsibilities done and enjoy the fruit of your labor.

As for your husband--and really your children as well--the best thing you can do is model, by example, the behavior you want them to emulate. A love for caring for others in addition to the joy of service will make a tremendous splash in the family headlines. While there are hundreds of hints for "taming the toys" or "limiting the laundry," the greatest piece of advice I can offer you is this: love your family, enjoy your home, and appreciate your ability to care for them both. If you learn to love what you are able to do, many of the frustrating details will sink into the background. (Disappear? No. Become less about what you don't have and more about what you do? Yes.)

The bittersweet reality of Mother's Day--which is just around the corner--is that many of our friends will celebrate motherhood, but not in any traditional sense. In lieu of candy and cards, they will celebrate their mothers--or perhaps their children--who are not with them this year. This weekend, even with the toys scattered around the living room floor and the toilet seat standing sentinel in the bathroom, consider the reality that you CAN be a wife and mother right now.

A major weakness--for many of us--is that we see most clearly our obstacles without recognizing our blessings.

Thank you, Stefanie H.!
Keep it simple!

(Due to 56 e-mails being sent in for the Dear HouseHoncho column this week, I have chosen to address an extra one. Thank you to everyone sending in questions!)

Pearly Whites and Closet Doors

Photo by djpoblete09

There I stand. Scared. Uncomfortable. Too young to die.

Yet I know that I need to open my closet door and find what I am going to wear for the day. So I do it. A few stray books fall off the shelf and barely miss my left temporal lobe. But I am safe. (For now.)

Ever feel like that? So maybe you're not dodging books or flying hangers. But how does the closet function in your home? Is it a place to hide things? A place to shove things behind a closed door?

Is it possible that we dread our closets, in part, because they are the dumping ground for the things we do not want to deal with? I recently heard a friend say that the cleanliness/health of a person's mouth and teeth directly link to the health of a person's entire body. I have zero evidence to support his claim. (And, for the record, he is a salesman--not a doctor.) But I do think that the cleanliness of a person's closet indicates the true order throughout the rest of the house.

SO maybe your home LOOKS clean and organized, but when it comes to what's behind closed doors, you are actually stuffing things out of sight. Or maybe your closets are carefully tidied and clean. To which I would guess that the rest of your home is following suit.

Care to agree or disagree?