Letter to the Editor

Today I could use this wonderful vintage umbrella, from calloohcallay.

Notes like this make my day. I'm not going to lie. I loved opening my House Honcho inbox and finding this:

Just a quick thanks for the daily e-mails.  I am a full-time working mom who insists on a spotless house, and so I spend a lot of my free time cleaning and organizing.  Your daily reminders have helped me to remember that baby steps are still steps, and so I choose 3 things from your list in addition to the "have to" chores like laundry and dishes.  My house is clean and I still have time with my family.  Thanks.  PS -- How to you choose items to put on the daily list?  Do you have a master list for each area that rotates?  How often do tasks repeat?

Denise



Dear Denise,

First of all, thank you. I made myself a mug of french toast coffee because of your sweet note. (And I don't even drink coffee.)

Home management, as I have learned and am still learning, is all about baby steps. In years past, I was overwhelmed by everything that "keeping house" included. At times, the various tasks began to feel like a hamster wheel. No sooner than the dishes were cleaned it was time to clean the dishes again, etc.

I love it now, and it is my desire (via this little blog) to encourage others to consider loving their homes as well.

Choosing tasks for the daily to-do list, is as simple as walking around my home and deciding what needs to be done. Not very scientific, but usually practical. Items sometimes repeat because not everyone chooses the same 3 tasks each time. I can honestly say I have never sent the same list twice. It's truly home-spun.

It is funny that you mentioned a "master list," because I am in the process of overhauling how the tasks are selected. Thousands of people have signed up for the list (and continue to sign up!) and I want to offer the most practical, yet attainable e-mail.

I feel like this blog has miles to go before I sleep. I am always looking for feedback and thank you for yours! It is always welcome!

Dear June: Let's Talk About Calendars!

Fall is here on Friday! I plan to celebrate all season with Etsy items, like this Orange and White Pumpkin Pincushion from SeaPinks. Love it.

Tonight's question from a reader is one I get often. Please feel free to contribute your own suggestions in the comments section.

I'm on the hunt for the "perfect" calendar/agenda/planner, etc. and was wondering what you use.  I searched your blog and saw a post where you mentioned writing in your planner every day.  I have used wall calendars forever.  Lately, I used the family organizer type (Amy Knapp, etc.), but am open to new ideas.  It's kind of awkward to grab my huge wall calendar off the fridge and head out the door to a meeting.  :-)  Although that's what I've done for years! 


I really love the monthly format...it must be how my brain works, but am willing to try a smaller weekly planner that I can keep on my kitchen counter and then throw in my purse as I head out the door.  Just wondering if you had any ideas for me!  One thing that bugs me about many of the planners I've been looking at on-line is the (increasingly popular) Monday - Sunday format.  Guess I'm old fashioned, but I really want one that starts on Sunday!  The Lord's Day starts my week so I'd love my planner to have that format too. 


Thank you for your time! 
Jena


Dear Jena,

Calendars are wonderful inventions. I know exactly what you mean about "being on the hunt" for a good calendar. Calendars are a dime a dozen, but good ones are really hard to find!

That said, I like calendars that 1) have plenty of writing space, 2) don't include a lot of useless "fringe," and 3) travel easily.

I am a huge fan of Franklin Covey. (Admittedly, I suggested naming our son "Franklin Covey," but my husband shot it down faster than a rat in the attic. Oh well.) Specifically, I love Covey's printable forms. I bought these years ago and have never paid a penny since. The upside is having the exact forms that I need. The downside is having to print them myself.

I am also a fan of Microsoft Office templates. These forms are free and simplistic. (Consequently, if you use Microsoft Outlook, they offer an insanely addictive online calendar.)

Finally, for the papyrophiles, I love the magnetic calendars found in the stationery section of many grocery stores. My favorite are the one-page-per-week choices. Tim Coffey offers a great line through Tri-Coastal Design.

I hope this helps. Readers, feel free to add your own calendar preferences ...

Privacy in Context

Words of wisdom by the talented and timely J.M.Barclay.

Dear June,

I am Mom to 6 kids. The oldest is 13 and the yougest is 5. I don't know if this is a good question for your blog but I am always very interested in the answers you write and thought I'd give this question a shot. Lately my kids have been demanding more privacy. They want cell phones, computer time, TV privilege and even time alone with friends in their rooms. I am trying to be smart about this. I know kids today have more privacy than I did when I was their age. But I also don't want to be stupid. Care to share?


Mom of 6 from Tennessee



Dear Mom of 6,

Ironic, isn't it, that you are from the "Volunteer State"? I would think--with 6 children--you feel like the state was named in honor of your personal obligations. And anyway, I applaud you. Raising 6 children is admirable!

I'm careful on this blog not to respond to questions about which I am inexperienced. And since I am a new mother to a 4-year-old boy whose current hurdles involve American food and the English language, I would normally not feel prepared to tackle "the privacy of America's young."

But. You are the third person this week to send me a question on this topic. So in response to the relentless masses, here are my 2 thoughts on the matter.

(Parents with more experience, feel free to jump in!)

1. I believe that a direct line should be drawn between privacy and trust. To the degree that a child is trustworthy, he or she can appreciate a certain modicum of privacy.

2. To be honest, though, privacy (in my opinion) is overrated and should never be the chief end. Protection and guidance are my responsibility as a parent--higher on the list than, "creating opportunities for privacy." While privacy is an important part of childhood development--and an attractive aspiration for anyone under 18--it cannot be without its safety net. No matter what.

Children don't always know from what they need to be spared.

With trust and maturity, then, cell phone conversations with certain people, computer time on limited sites, television privileges for pre-determined programs, and alone time with approved friends can be enjoyed without violating other virtues.

But at the end of the day, I know more than my child knows. I know the dangers--as well as the rewards--of enjoying privacy. I want my son to grow and experience and learn--but I want to make sure that he is safe in the process. Otherwise, allowing my child to enjoy privacy to the degree he wants it will be like handing him a lit match and a gallon of gasoline and encouraging him to be careful.

Hope this helps.






P.S. I allowed my son to experience a few, rare moments of privacy in his bedroom while I wrote this post. He managed to stuff all the contents of his top dresser drawer down the laundry chute.

Dear June: First Day Jitters

I can't tell you how much I love this wild bunch of paper animals from mibostudio. I plan to make them with my son!

Dear June

As you know, school is right around the corner. I am a single mom who will be sending one of my children to first grade while one stays home. During the school year I find it much harder to do things around the house because of homework and sports. But I have friends who seem to manage it all just fine. How can I stop beating myself up constantly for falling short of my friends? I read your blog every day.


M. Taylor
Oklahoma


Dear M. Taylor,

First of all, congratulations on the start of a new semester. Even though I haven't been a formal student in 8 years, I get excited about each new school year. Such anticipation of good things to learn and do--new beginnings are gifts.

As I've said to many of the writers who have sent letters to this Dear June column, priorities change at various points in our lives. It is understandable--especially for someone who must juggle all of the responsibilities that come with being a single parent--that the load can get heavy. And--though our homes are wonderful havens--keeping the nest spotless isn't as important as caring for the needs of the children (i.e., food and education and spiritual growth).

Let me challenge you with this. You said that your friends "seem to manage it all just fine." And perhaps they do. But keep in mind that little word, "seem." You don't live in their homes. You don't observe the day-to-day struggles that happen on their watches. You don't see how fast and furiously they might shove those toys in a closet as you are knocking on their front door.

Perception and reality are not one and the same.

The measuring stick for our accomplishments cannot be the accomplishments of other people. What we are capable or incapable of is as unique to us as our own genetic pattern.

The most important grade on your "home management" report card is the one that is given in the area of "effort."

Biebs and Lunch Room Wisdom

Check out this vintage wooden rolling pin with cherry pie red handles by ApollinaireVintage!

It is difficult to deny that the Internet is an accurate temperature gauge of our culture.

Today, I stumbled on an ABC news article that listed the 50 most popular women, per Google search results. Perhaps not surprising, the most popular woman on the list was Lady Gaga, followed by 24 actresses, 16 music artists, 3 politicians, 2 models, 2 socialites, and 1 television personality.

And, in case you didn't do the math, the above list only contains 49 individuals.

17-year-old Justin Bieber was ranked number 7 on this list of the 50 Most Popular Women. (I've written and deleted 4 different comments in response to this fact--they were all a tad too snarky.)

Why does this list matter and what does it mean?

I often receive e-mail from readers asking me why women in this culture who prize their families are looked down upon or treated as "less worthy" by society at large. My answer, given this type of article, is simple.

When Miley Cyrus and Kim Kardashian, or Pamela Anderson and Marilyn Monroe are listed as the most popular women in our culture--based on what people are actively thinking about and voluntarily choosing to spend their time and attention pursuing--it should tell us this: choosing to honor home and family in this generation has all the significance of salmon swimming upstream.

Ours is a culture that values acting and singing above everything else.

Thankfully--as we learned in the elementary school lunch room--it is not the loudest voice in the room that matters most.

On Gollum, Gender, and Negative Feedback

Photo of vintage carnival swing ride by GrainnePhotography

I get a lot of e-mail. The longer I've been running this site, the more I've grown to enjoy the reader feedback--for good or bad. Thanks to each of you who take a moment to write.

Make no mistake, the feedback is overwhelmingly positive--too positive, really, considering I blather on sometimes about things that primarily interest me or my cat, Italics--but it is very kind. And the negative feedback--which generally comes in the form of insults or comparisons to 1950s housewives (am I supposed to hang my head in shame?)--is nothing I take too seriously. (C'mon! Their aprons were cute!)

We are, after all, entitled to our opinions--right or wrong.

That said, I received a negative piece of feedback in response to a post I wrote entitled, Female Without Apology. Here is what the anonymous reader wrote:

"Who [we] are is not a gender. First and last post I will read from this blog."

I've got to give the reader kudos for brevity. But the words have stayed with me for almost a month. So here is my response:


Dear Anonymous,

Researchers say that, when a girl and boy are given a sheet of paper and a box of crayons, they will generally draw different things. The girl will likely draw a scene--her house, perhaps, or the people in her life--while the boy will set to work creating action. He might draw a military demonstration or the latest scene from Lord of the Rings. (Hopefully not a scene with Gollum, yikes.)

Whole studies and schools of thought are dedicated to gender identity and their ensuing roles in society. Many studies would suggest that boys and girls do things--unprompted--for no other reason than that they are following the pattern set by gender.

Additionally, it is difficult to paint the full picture of a person without including the individual's gender. Try it. It makes the person . . . well . . . bland.

I am no expert, but I believe that gender is very definitely part of who we are. And I believe gender is a gift. From the beginning of humanity, man and woman were created with unique responsibilities and roles. To take away gender (theoretically, of course) is to take away one of the things that makes each of us unique. Strip away gender and we don't have equality--we have less variety.

And as we know, variety is the spice of life.

With that said, I've seen people in the news--some celebrity, some activist--fighting for the right to change genders. And it does beg the question, "Why?" If gender isn't who we are, why does it matter?

Food for thought? Maybe. Maybe not. Well. You're not reading anyway.

Cue the Scary Shark Music

Photo by VFS Digital Design

Since the time I was a child, I have had vivid dreams.

Growing up, my parents limited my television after 7:00 at night to only those programs that promoted positive (read: non-active) thinking. Even Bambi was too violent after the sun went down. My mom actually blocked scenes in movies she taped on the television for fear that I would find them. (Our version of The Princess Bride is missing the scene with the R.O.U.S.'s).

No joke, if I saw or heard anything distressing before bedtime, I dreamed about it in full technicolor.

For good or bad, I dream big. But no dream of mine has ever been as good as this article. In my wildest dreams, I have never imagined a home that could hold 10 tons of books.

You really should check out this house. Amazing. I'm adding this house to my Christmas list.

Apparently you haven't imagined it, either, since I received more e-mail about this article than I've received in a long time about any article. Dozens of you forwarded this article to me today.

Thank you. Tonight's dream should be interesting.

Dear June: I Don't Have Leprosy

Photo by Steve Snodgrass

Dear "June,"

I am 34 years old and have never been married. I like taking care of my house but I worry that I will never be able to share it with someone else. Also, some of my married friends (particularly the moms) act like I can't contribute to homemaking conversations or really be a home manager since I don't have my own family. It is difficult to say it succintly. I don't know what to do. And I don't know what to ask you for but I am looking for your thoughts.

Lonely forever?
Cary, North Carolina


Dear Lonely Forever?,

Though this is a topic for a larger conversation, let me begin with this: Better that you have never been married than that you have married the wrong man. I do not minimize your disappointment, but I do want you to understand that there are worse situations than being young and single.

And yes, you are young.

As for your friends who do not want you to participate in home management conversations, shame on them. Certainly your ability to paint or clean or organize is not hindered by your current lack of a husband. Many of my single friends can out-home-manage me on all of the above.

Unfortunately, as people, we are too easily prone to value or de-value the contributions of those around us based on their status as compared to our own. Shame on us. You have a unique perspective that could lend significant insight into the home management conversation.

If I were in your shoes, I would identify the main culprits who have prevented you from contributing, and I would talk to them individually in a kind and transparent way. My guess is that they aren't even aware of the messages they are communicating to you. Or perhaps--in some way--they think they are "helping." If that doesn't work, there is the age-old solution: Find new friends.

If you need proof that love can (and will!) happen at any age and every stage, check out the following. They might put a smile back on your face.

WWII veteran, 99, marries for first time; bride’s 86

On 100th birthday, he married the woman of his dreams 

Happy home managing,

Read A-Whey

Photo by hirnrinde

Well, Friends, summer is here. I know this because I opened my e-mail last night to find a plethora of questions such as: How do I get my children to read? Can you help me help my kids with reading? How can I convince my
daughter that reading is a good idea?

Reading is as much a summer necessity as sun and sunscreen.

Some of my earliest childhood memories--which perhaps you and I share--include getting dragged off to the library where, for the ultimate prize of a paperback or poster, I would read a whole list of biographies and classics.

(I suppose reading programs are similar in motive and method to hiding whey powder in frozen yogurt.)

Here I offer 5 tips for encouraging your children to read.

1. Select a program. Libraries are the likely choice. See if your library has a Web site where you can research what is offered.

2. Allow kids to read what they enjoy. At some point, it is our responsibility to broaden their reading horizons, but if we want kids to love reading, kids need to read something that interests them. (So, "Yes" to the biography of Lincoln, but maybe, "No" to the entire biography section.)

3. Discuss, discuss, discuss. What are they learning? What do they think about the characters in their books?

4. Set a timer. 30 minutes a day, for most kids, is a great goal. (Yesterday I received some good advice from a co-worker who said, "Always give 'em parameters and expectations." Egg timers are helpful for both!)

5. Demonstrate that you enjoy reading, too. Family reading nights offer the perfect opportunity to show your kids that reading is for everyone. Read in fun places (such as at a park or on the porch) and celebrate the ends of good books.

Dear June: Meet Felix and Oscar

Photo by nolaclutterbusters

I hear from intelligent home managers all the time who graciously stop by this blog and read. So in tonight's Dear June column, I am turning the question over to you, smarty smarts...

Back in March, I received this question from a reader:

"I have two daughters who are quite different in their styles. One is fairly neat while the other is messy. Is it wrong of me to make them share a room? It drives them both batty. On a semi-regular basis they both ask to not share a room. But I want them to work through their differences. I am interested in your thoughts."

--Nicole R., New Albany, OH


What would YOU say, readers? Feel free to leave your answer in the comment section below.

Dear June: "Careful, Kid. Don't Bust a Boiler"

Photo by suchitra prints

Dear House Honcho,

I wanted to tell you how much I love your daily blog. It always makes me smile to see it pop up on my email in the morning. It makes me feel as if I am getting a message from a friend. (Which I am). I think you need to have an "Extreme Summer Cleaning Makeover: Teacher's Edition" in June. By this time in the school year, I'm just too tired and too pushed to do extra cleaning. But in June--that's my time to tackle all those little piles of stuff that I've stuck here and there as I dash through life. It's a wonderful blog, Trisha, and I know you are soon going to have a great following.

"An Old Friend" from Missouri



Dear Friend from the Show-Me State,

What an excellent idea! For the month of June, I will plan to include one item on each daily e-mail that is specifically geared for teachers who are "summer cleaning"! Kind of makes me smile . . . the idea of giving homework to a teacher!

(This could be fun!)

Thank you for your kind words about the blog. It's been the Little Engine That Could (which I'm guessing you know all about since you're an educator!)

. . . I think I can! I think I can!

Many more fun things coming soon. Thanks for your support!

Something Sweet for Your Refrigerator . . . Door

Photo by digika

Dear June

I have never been very good about bringing fruits and vegetables into my home for my family to eat. This summer I have decided to pick my own produce as much as possible and wonder how you know how to care properly for the different things you pick. I have researched online several different sites and see different instructions. Is this just something you try out (like trial and error) or is this something you can share with me. How do you know what to do with your produce?

April from Minneapolis


Dear April from Minneapolis,

Instead of waxing eloquent on what you should do with your produce--(congrats, by the way for making such a great decision for your family!)--I am going to share a worksheet I received in the mail a few months ago. I hope this will be helpful as you health-ify your life.

Click on the image below to enlarge:



Tomato, tom-ah-to,

Dear June: Divorce Wars

Photo by p r o m i s e

Dear June

Have you seen the new show, "Divorce Wars"? It's a new documentary that goes behind the scenes in high-profile divorces. I watched it the other night and knew that I wanted to get your opinion on it. I remember the things you had to say about the show "Sister Wives" and how it lended fresh perspective to something I knew in my gut wasn't right.

Sincerely, a daily reader


Dear Daily Reader,

Until you sent me this question earlier this week, I had not even heard of this new show (which aired on CNBC March 29th). I did watch it (compliments of Hulu), and, as you suggested, the program goes behind the scenes to reveal the problems that unfold in high net worth divorces.

In two specific instances, I found myself on the verge of laughing (if, in fact, there is anything acceptable to laugh about regarding divorce).

First, the premise of the show was clear: Your marriage will fail. It's a matter of time. You're an idiot if you don't plan an exit strategy.

Second, one of the women who was interviewed on the show received (among other things) $80,000 a month in alimony and child support. (Yes. Every. Month.) In what I perceived to be a sort of shocking disatisfaction, this woman claimed (on her personal blog) that the money is for the benefit of the kids.

Alright. Because I try to keep my posts shorter than War and Peace, I will give an abbreviated response.

1. The show got one part of the marriage strategy right, in my opinion. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. BUT. Planning to fail isn't good planning. If you really believe the Titanic is going to sink, why board the vessel at all?

2. It's a shame of the worst kind that marriages are less about commitment than they are about anything else. On this show, I heard less about failed relationships than I did failed financial investments. And I would guess the real mourning happened over the latter.

3. Kids don't need $80,000 a month to live good lives. Period.

In other news, I would love to do a study on whether kids grow up to make better life choices with or without access to untold millions.

Sad on so many levels.

Dear June: On Fads and Tacky Cars

Photo by becksshaw

Dear June

What changes are going on now that require us to take a fresh look at how we run our homes? I worry that trends will change the way homemakers are viewed.

--Marilyn Mackey, Ontario


Dear Marilyn from Ontario,

First of all, I need you to know that I know the national anthem of Canada. It bears no significance on this conversation, but I've known it since eighth grade. And now that I have told you, I feel validated for all these years of knowing and loving it.

So thank you.

The thing to understand about trends is that they are simply the loudest opinions.

There are strong groups that support home managers. There are strong groups that disparage home managers. It will likely always be that way, though the specific statistics may waffle in various generations.

(To those who discount the benefits of a home manager, I say psssht. I don't like the color yellow or the Subaru Baja. Who cares?)

As for the trends we need to concern ourselves with, I believe that entertainment, social, media, and religious fads will always pose the largest threats to our homes. As fads are really only popularity inspired by peer pressure, they really have all the nutrition of cardboard when it comes to the health of our family.

Bottom line: It doesn't matter what people think. But then again, we've spent our whole lives trying to convince ourselves of that truism . . . eh?

Dear June: Help Me Protect My Identity!

Photo by Jennie Faber

Dear June,

Do you shop online? And if so, what qualifications do you use in picking the places you feel comfortable?

Mary Kiely, Illinois

Dear Mary Kiely, (If, in fact, you are Mary Kiely and not someone masquerading as such),

I appreciate someone who gets to the point. Thank you for your inquiry.

My husband (who is supposed to be studying Hebrew at the moment) is suddenly very interested in tonight's Dear June column. He chose your question from 17 choices and has this to say:

"Buy gift cards. Use them online. Re-charge them when you've used them up. Then--if for some reason you DO get scammed, it won't be for more than the gift card's value."

To answer your question, I do not shop online very often. But when I do, I limit my shopping experience to stores I know and trust.

Feel special, Mary Kiely. Your question was answered by an entire village.

Be safe.

Dear June: Motivate Me!

Photo by i_yudai

Dear June

You are an inspiration to me and I love receiving your daily emails! I just wish I wouldn't procrastinate when I get home from a long day at work and would actually do what you suggest! I'm exhausted by the end of the day and don't have the energy to get much done. I need motivation!!! Any ideas??

Julie

Dear Sweet Clone of Mine,

I hear you. I really do. Notice, I send you the to-do list but not the energy to get it done. What a scam! I should be ashamed.

Yet, I am not.

I, too, work long days and come home with the weight of the day on my shoulders. What I thrive on, specifically, is routine. I do the same thing each day so that I don't start unwinding until my work is finished. When I get home from work, I put on a 60-minute CD (generally an audio book) and I commit to cleaning/sorting/organizing for the length of that CD. When the CD is over, my housework is done.

I focus on the designated room and daily to-do list.

Some days, it's not quite that simple. But most days, I get it done. When I am particularly tired, I put on music--something of the energy-enhancing variety. Music does wonders to the brain.

No matter the length of the cleaning or the time of the day, the bottom line is this. Do your expected, daily task list right away at the same time every day (if possible). The later it's pushed, the harder it becomes. AND set the parameters so that you know when your job is done.

After that . . . the spilled milk will just have to wait.

(Kidding.)

Have a question? Send me a message. I will reply.

Dear June: My Blinds Are Driving Me Batty

Photo by AngryJulieMonday

Dear June,

You have mentioned a few times now in our daily to-do lists to clean the blinds. My question is, what's the best way to accomplish this task? I about tore my blinds right off the wall trying to clean them the other day. Micro-fiber is one of my best friends but it has not done the trick for these pesky blinds. I also have a steam contraption (which I love and is good for 'green' cleaning might I add) that has a hose with a fluffy attachment on the end specifically for blind cleaning, and all it did was smear the dust around. I'm at a loss, and now my blinds look worse than they did before I tried to clean them! Please help!

M.F., Allen Park, MI


Dear M.F. from Allen Park, (who owns a fluffy attachment!)

The easiest plan is to throw the blinds out each month and buy new ones.

BUT. In case you are not Donald Trump . . .

Cleaning the blinds has been on the e-mail list a few times recently because they collect dirt and dust so easily. Dusting the blinds often is an important key to avoiding the whole take-em-out-back-and-hose-em strategy.

In the event that you cannot dust them as often as you'd like, one idea is taking them down and putting them in the bathtub to soak (being mindful of any non-plastic parts that can't get wet).

Just last week, I hung mine in the shower and used the handheld shower head to gently rinse each layer.

I like to make a solution using a gallon of warm water and a half cup of automatic dishwasher detergent. Once the ingredients dissolve, I dip a cloth (or paint brush) into the mixture and gently clean each blind.

As much as it's disturbing seeing all of that dust attached to the blinds, we can be thankful the blinds are doing their job and keeping that junk out of our lungs!

Happy dusting--

Dear June: Vaccines and Friendship Bracelets

Photo by Zouny

Dear June,

Thanks for a great website. I recommend it everywhere I go. It's been a fun adventure to watch it take off! I have a question for you. I have a friend who is always in my face about vaccines. She doesn't believe in them and I do. How can I politely explain that I am doing what I believe is right for us? She is a family friend and not one that I can easily avoid. But she is very bold and abbrasive about her positions."

--M. T., MI

Dear M. T. from Michigan,

Thank you for your kind words about this site. I assure you, it has been as much an adventure for me as anyone else. I anticipate many more years of learning together!

Kudos to you for caring about your friendship. Our paramount responsibility--as you obviously recognize--is not to win debates, but to love our neighbor as ourself. As I have been in similar situations--over a variety of topics--I have found it easiest to clearly communicate that I love my friend and her commitment to doing what she believes is best. Sometimes straightforwardly saying something like, "Let's agree to disagree on this one" is the best road to take. At other times, when conscience dictates that we comment, a response guided by compassion is still the key.

No doubt your friend is passionate about this topic for a specific reason. Giving her a listening ear and asking thoughtful questions will not hurt you--and will, perhaps--find the same response when you are given the opportunity to talk.

We can even discuss the possibility of not giving vaccines to children because we've long forgotten the dangers of contracting the deadly diseases they prevent. Our generation is decades removed from the devastation of childhood death by most of what the vaccines exist to shield us from. For that, we can be thankful.

So much food for thought. Until we find the answers--and even afterward--keep loving your friend!

Dear June: I can't keep up!

Photo by jbcurio

 

Dear June

I am pretty discouraged about my house. It isn't easy to stay on top of with a house full of kids. What are the ways I can feel like I am making a difference when hourly I want to sit down and cry?
--Mom of 4 under 6

Dear Sister in the Trenches,

Have you ever tried a new exercise regime? Perhaps you threw yourself in whole hog and found out the next day that you hurt in places you can't speak about in public?!

I think juggling a home and children can be a lot like that. You have one child and flex some new muscles to care for your home and child. When your next child is born, you have to work out a new set of muscles.  And so the pattern goes with each new addition.

But you've come to the right place for help! House Honcho was designed to help women just like you improve their homes one step at a time. My advice to you is this:

1.  Have realistic expectations of yourself.  I'm not saying have no expectations.  But accept the fact that you might not be able to clean every room every day.
2.  Read your househoncho e-mails every day!  Try to accomplish one, two, or three tasks from any of the lists.  Start with smaller goals and work your way up as you are able.
3.   Arrange cleaning playdates!  Have a friend who has kids over.  The children will keep each other occupied and you (perhaps along with the help of your friend) can focus on accomplishing those goals from your house honcho task list.  When the kids need attention, your friend is there to help take care of their needs.  Don't forget to return the favor!
4.   Remember that every moment spent with your kids is a precious gift.  It can be easy to think you're robbing Peter to pay Paul with regards to your time, but never begrudge yourself quality time with your children. You are weaving a rich fabric in the lives of your children, and it's a legacy that will be passed down to future generations.

Keep it simple, my friend.


From my home to yours,

Guest Blogger: Dear June: I'm Not Perfect

Photo by aprillynn77

Dear June

I have a good friend who wants me to start cleaning her house. I am nervous this could destroy our relationship because she's perfectionistic and I'm not. Any advice?

Dear Friend,
When it comes to the hiring process, one fundamental task has to be accomplished. The prospective employer looks to see that the employee has the qualities to fit the needs and demands of the job.

And in this situation, it sounds like your friend has bypassed this step on account of her friendship with you. For that reason, I think it would be in the best interest of both parties for you to pass on this opportunity. Thank her for wanting to help you out but remind her that you don't quite meet the qualifications for this particular job. A perfectionist will demand (and deserve) perfectionistic work. And as you've said, that's just not you.

An offer to help her find the perfect person for the job will go a long way to say it isn't anything personal.

From my home to yours